There is the constant need to walk at the speed of light. The need to catch the very local standing on the platform when you're at the overhead bridge. The need to nudge someone moving too slow. The need to be aggressive. The need to be competitive even while walking down the road. The need to go to the sea side to breathe. The need to show your cultural intellect in social surroundings and the lack of it on the street. The need to live in the "posh" localities even if in a pigeon hole. The need to fit in. The need to do something extra. The need to develop into a MACHINE.
This is the "need" of Mumbai. The Maximum city.
Don't get my wrong, I'm no cynic of the likes of Antisthenes or Demetrius. I'm just unsure if this is what we came here to do. to be. I could belt down few lines about life and the purpose of it but its a little overdone already, so lets just say, I think that there should be more. More to all of this humbug called "life". Maybe we all don't have a divine purpose, but we do have only one shot at it. So yes, we will continue to nudge people on the streets and rush to get to places and put up a brilliant facade of "how awesome we are" but I would want to also in reality be "awesome". Do things which are awesome. meet people who are awesome. eat food which is awesome. read books which are awesome and finally feel satisfied with an overdose of awesomeness!! If i had that along with life's humdrum, I would be fine. My personal "divine" purpose would be attained. Sounds simple right? very basic even? But is it? The answer is No, it never is and they never said it would be. Even to achieve the basic is a struggle, a struggle most of us don't mind undertaking.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Face of your Car :)
So all my life, since i was a kid, I have observed vehicles and associated a "look" with them. Something which was my favorite pass time during our extremely long road trips (my dad used to love driving) eventually turned into this crazy psychological funda. I used to point at all the cars that went by and associate an emotion with them. So there was the HAPPY car, the SAD car, the ANGRY car and so on. As i grew up, the fixation of noticing car faces never went away and what came in was an added sense of understanding. I now associate car emotions to those of the owner. So say for example, a happy car would never have a rude owner. True or not, these are my perceptions. People use handwritings and hand gestures to determine behavior. I use CAR FACES :) So lets have a look at it.
Lets start with Hyundai Santro Xing. I find it to be a very complicating car. The first look of it makes it seem like a very happy car!I mean its not just a happy car, its a happy,excited,jumpy car. I almost expect it to hop around. But if i keep looking at it, there is this hidden side of meanness which surfaces and gives me the jitters. I have never been sure if its a happy car or a car pretending to be happy!!
The VW Polo on the other hand has one of the sternest faces in this segment of cars. I wouldn't call it "attitude", its more of a primary school teacher strictness and it's a little overpowering.
Maruti Suzuki Swift is such a HAPPY car. Its got the ":D" smiley face. There is something so positive about it and so energetic.
Lets look at The Honda Accord. That is one powerful car, it oozes of POWER. And Sharpness. Its how everyone would want their boss to be. Powerful and sharp but NOT Angry.
The Honda City on the other hand is such a peaceful car. Its got oodles of attitude and this incredible sense of "coolness" but its still a Calm car, a car which can be a rage on the roads but prefers to be just Calm!!! The earlier city was a much happier car. A baby face car. The new one has got the whole attitude thing going for it. Its as if its grown up!!
The Honda Jazz is such a mouse of a car. The pointy nose makes it look like Stuart Little. Its got something so mischievous in its eyes, like its always up to something notorious:)
One of the most "at peace" and honest cars I've ever seen has to be the Maruti 800. One look at it and it fills me up with this warmth. Its smile and its eyes are just so "in" with each other.
Each and every car just says so much. There is something in those eyes which makes them almost human!! :)
Lets start with Hyundai Santro Xing. I find it to be a very complicating car. The first look of it makes it seem like a very happy car!I mean its not just a happy car, its a happy,excited,jumpy car. I almost expect it to hop around. But if i keep looking at it, there is this hidden side of meanness which surfaces and gives me the jitters. I have never been sure if its a happy car or a car pretending to be happy!!
The VW Polo on the other hand has one of the sternest faces in this segment of cars. I wouldn't call it "attitude", its more of a primary school teacher strictness and it's a little overpowering.
Maruti Suzuki Swift is such a HAPPY car. Its got the ":D" smiley face. There is something so positive about it and so energetic.
Lets look at The Honda Accord. That is one powerful car, it oozes of POWER. And Sharpness. Its how everyone would want their boss to be. Powerful and sharp but NOT Angry.
The Honda City on the other hand is such a peaceful car. Its got oodles of attitude and this incredible sense of "coolness" but its still a Calm car, a car which can be a rage on the roads but prefers to be just Calm!!! The earlier city was a much happier car. A baby face car. The new one has got the whole attitude thing going for it. Its as if its grown up!!
The Honda Jazz is such a mouse of a car. The pointy nose makes it look like Stuart Little. Its got something so mischievous in its eyes, like its always up to something notorious:)
One of the most "at peace" and honest cars I've ever seen has to be the Maruti 800. One look at it and it fills me up with this warmth. Its smile and its eyes are just so "in" with each other.
Each and every car just says so much. There is something in those eyes which makes them almost human!! :)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Break Brokers!
"arre madam, bahaut badiya ghar aaya hai. ap dekho toh sahi" and that's how the ordeal begins. Its a vicious circle and all we new bee mumbaikars get pulled into it. THE BROKER. Its easy to recognise the typical broker. Two Phones in hand, another one probably jingling in the pocket. A handful of keys. Friendly waves to people on the street in his "area". Untucked shirt. Hindi mixed with a lot of English. The smooth talker.
They'll suck your blood till you cant give no more. Which part of "My budget is 13k" translates to "acha toh aapka budget 16k tak hai na" ? I stare in disbelief as their "bahaut badiya ghar" unfolds itself in front of me in the form of a dingy no ventilation room in a building falling apart!!
Standing instructions mean nothing to them. So what you communicate over the phone to them or in person is forgotten within 2 mins and they begin to take you all over town showing whatever they want to show you and not what you want to see.
I think after each visit that i've seen it all and that it possibly cannot get any worse. But they outdo themselves and shock me with a creepier dingier and shadier place than the one before!
There was one straight out of a Ram Gopal Varma movie with "naina" scrawled across an entire wall and a cross dangling from the window. Another one had 15 children playing right outside it screaming and shouting, completely shoot worthy! Oh and not to forget the house that ended before it started. The broker coolly asks me to "have a look around" and i wonder what "around" is.
Most of the houses are brilliant from inside but are located in the dingy chauls Mumbai is infamous for. So you'll have ladies sitting outside in the corridor chopping vegetables, analysing you from head to toe as you walk by. Men roaming around in their vests and children, oh the annoying children! Also, the one odd roadside romeo leaning against the wall. As i stare in disbelief at the "good area" my broker insists on me seeing, i think to myself how i'll never find a livable home here.
Making you roam around the whole city in a cab is something all brokers do, but mine went a step further and asked me to hop on his bike! As i looked around to find a cab, i realised i had no option. Sitting was fine, not knowing what to hold onto was not! Grabbing the back of my seat and being horrible awkward I thanked my stars that the place was less than 5 mins away.
Its like speed dating. I move from one broker to another. With the hope to find a better one but end up as disappointed as i was when i my fizzle first fizzed out!!!
So pray for me, as i pray for myself each night,to help me find a HOME! :)
They'll suck your blood till you cant give no more. Which part of "My budget is 13k" translates to "acha toh aapka budget 16k tak hai na" ? I stare in disbelief as their "bahaut badiya ghar" unfolds itself in front of me in the form of a dingy no ventilation room in a building falling apart!!
Standing instructions mean nothing to them. So what you communicate over the phone to them or in person is forgotten within 2 mins and they begin to take you all over town showing whatever they want to show you and not what you want to see.
I think after each visit that i've seen it all and that it possibly cannot get any worse. But they outdo themselves and shock me with a creepier dingier and shadier place than the one before!
There was one straight out of a Ram Gopal Varma movie with "naina" scrawled across an entire wall and a cross dangling from the window. Another one had 15 children playing right outside it screaming and shouting, completely shoot worthy! Oh and not to forget the house that ended before it started. The broker coolly asks me to "have a look around" and i wonder what "around" is.
Most of the houses are brilliant from inside but are located in the dingy chauls Mumbai is infamous for. So you'll have ladies sitting outside in the corridor chopping vegetables, analysing you from head to toe as you walk by. Men roaming around in their vests and children, oh the annoying children! Also, the one odd roadside romeo leaning against the wall. As i stare in disbelief at the "good area" my broker insists on me seeing, i think to myself how i'll never find a livable home here.
Making you roam around the whole city in a cab is something all brokers do, but mine went a step further and asked me to hop on his bike! As i looked around to find a cab, i realised i had no option. Sitting was fine, not knowing what to hold onto was not! Grabbing the back of my seat and being horrible awkward I thanked my stars that the place was less than 5 mins away.
Its like speed dating. I move from one broker to another. With the hope to find a better one but end up as disappointed as i was when i my fizzle first fizzed out!!!
So pray for me, as i pray for myself each night,to help me find a HOME! :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
Wishing and Thanking
Every once in a while there’s that feeling we get, the feeling that today’s going to be super.
The kind when we wake up in the morning with a big smile on our face, for no plausible reason.
The kind when getting out of bed doesn’t seem to be a challenge.
The brightness of the sun doesn’t make us cringe up our nose.
Or the cold winter air doesn’t make up curl up more.
We step out. Breathe. Feel. Live
Just for that ONE day.
We wish for more of such days. But never thank for the ones we have.
(miserable selfish souls we humans are)
We feel. We imagine and We wish
We always wish for more, for better. Maybe that’s why we get better sometimes.
But isn’t the thankless attitude of our race heartbreaking.
I hear women complain everyday about how they aren’t pretty enough or how they want that one pretty Mange dress.
And Men, oh don’t even get me started on MEN!! Yes, agreed, they aren’t always quite vocal about it but they have it too. The wish to be richer, better, stronger and I hope at least God knows what not.
Take a minute, to thank. Not God (if that’s not your ‘thing’). Just thank someone. Yourself even. For who you are and for what you have. Anything.
It’s a tested fact, the lesser you expect, the happier you are.
I’m not propagating an aimless wishless life. No.
Just a Happier more content one.
The kind when we wake up in the morning with a big smile on our face, for no plausible reason.
The kind when getting out of bed doesn’t seem to be a challenge.
The brightness of the sun doesn’t make us cringe up our nose.
Or the cold winter air doesn’t make up curl up more.
We step out. Breathe. Feel. Live
Just for that ONE day.
We wish for more of such days. But never thank for the ones we have.
(miserable selfish souls we humans are)
We feel. We imagine and We wish
We always wish for more, for better. Maybe that’s why we get better sometimes.
But isn’t the thankless attitude of our race heartbreaking.
I hear women complain everyday about how they aren’t pretty enough or how they want that one pretty Mange dress.
And Men, oh don’t even get me started on MEN!! Yes, agreed, they aren’t always quite vocal about it but they have it too. The wish to be richer, better, stronger and I hope at least God knows what not.
Take a minute, to thank. Not God (if that’s not your ‘thing’). Just thank someone. Yourself even. For who you are and for what you have. Anything.
It’s a tested fact, the lesser you expect, the happier you are.
I’m not propagating an aimless wishless life. No.
Just a Happier more content one.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
draft
I was viewing my blogger dashboard today and realised that I have more posts in 'draft' than I have published. Reason: Many.
Sometimes its the lack of words or the insufficiency in which they present themselves. Sometimes its the lack of emotion. Sometimes the sudden scare to not let the feeling out in the world for people to see and interpret. Sometimes the need to remain secretive and sometimes just not enough faith.
As I re read these posts I went back to how I felt when I had saved these as drafts and left them unpublished. How my head functioned for that one second when I shut the window. Its strange, but almost always there was this fear. Fear of people knowing, fear of not being good enough, fear of hurting others.
So if I didn't publish the post about how my friends betrayed me, or how colours affect me, or how that one day I felt like going away...those were days I had the fear. Fear of being seen. Fear of being judged and the fear of just feeling like i'm in the "naked at school" dream. So I let it be. Wrote those anger posts, posts of disappointed, posts of love, posts of not being understood and then just left them safely where no one could find them.
So i'm going to now very quickly press "publish post" with the fear of this going down as another draft.
Sometimes its the lack of words or the insufficiency in which they present themselves. Sometimes its the lack of emotion. Sometimes the sudden scare to not let the feeling out in the world for people to see and interpret. Sometimes the need to remain secretive and sometimes just not enough faith.
As I re read these posts I went back to how I felt when I had saved these as drafts and left them unpublished. How my head functioned for that one second when I shut the window. Its strange, but almost always there was this fear. Fear of people knowing, fear of not being good enough, fear of hurting others.
So if I didn't publish the post about how my friends betrayed me, or how colours affect me, or how that one day I felt like going away...those were days I had the fear. Fear of being seen. Fear of being judged and the fear of just feeling like i'm in the "naked at school" dream. So I let it be. Wrote those anger posts, posts of disappointed, posts of love, posts of not being understood and then just left them safely where no one could find them.
So i'm going to now very quickly press "publish post" with the fear of this going down as another draft.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
THE post.
At times, just when things seem fine and when we finally start believing that life isn't such a bitch after all, it does something to prove us wrong.
There are no reasons for the bad things that happen to us or to those around us. No explanation why some one's life is cut short by 50 years in a flash of a second. Or why some people go Scott free despite the crimes they commit. I'm not young enough or old enough to buy the age old excuse "god just loved them more and wanted them close to him". Sorry, it just doesn't cut it. We've always been told how god is this generous magnanimous energy and then to make us believe that he's selfish enough to take people away from their loved ones? Sorry, like i said it just doesn't cut it!
So if there are no reasons, no second chances, no comebacks; should there be no hope too? should there be no belief?
I know i believe in God and no matter how hard i try to not believe in him, i find myself praying to him every night. He has a way with us, a way of showing us that all is not lost. that all is never lost. In the worst of our times he'll shine a ray of sanity. Something that'll make us believe in humanity and the purpose of living again. It could be the smallest of thing. it could be the cab driver who drove you at 3 in the morning across the city or the security guards who offered you their chair. Absolutely anything.
But then again, are these smaller things power full enough to over power the loss? I highly doubt that. Time they say is the best healer. Everything, even the deepest wounds heal with time. So should we wait? wait for it to pass? Only to know that once this passes, something else will be there to grieve about.
There are no reasons for the bad things that happen to us or to those around us. No explanation why some one's life is cut short by 50 years in a flash of a second. Or why some people go Scott free despite the crimes they commit. I'm not young enough or old enough to buy the age old excuse "god just loved them more and wanted them close to him". Sorry, it just doesn't cut it. We've always been told how god is this generous magnanimous energy and then to make us believe that he's selfish enough to take people away from their loved ones? Sorry, like i said it just doesn't cut it!
So if there are no reasons, no second chances, no comebacks; should there be no hope too? should there be no belief?
I know i believe in God and no matter how hard i try to not believe in him, i find myself praying to him every night. He has a way with us, a way of showing us that all is not lost. that all is never lost. In the worst of our times he'll shine a ray of sanity. Something that'll make us believe in humanity and the purpose of living again. It could be the smallest of thing. it could be the cab driver who drove you at 3 in the morning across the city or the security guards who offered you their chair. Absolutely anything.
But then again, are these smaller things power full enough to over power the loss? I highly doubt that. Time they say is the best healer. Everything, even the deepest wounds heal with time. So should we wait? wait for it to pass? Only to know that once this passes, something else will be there to grieve about.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Its All about relevance!
So YES I am the deprived kind who heard them only quite recently. But I think I've made up for it by hearing them everytime they're in the city. Yes Yes, we are talking about SomeThing Relevant. There's probably only one word that describes these bunch of really enthusiastic guys..."WOW". yes, not quite profound, but the most apt!
I cant quite say what kind of music they play. I'm not the Music genius who drops genre names at the drop of a hat. In fact I think I still define Music as either Loud or Mellow. Thats it! I can not tell the difference between Psy and Tance and Electronic and whatever! Anyway, getting back to the band.
First of all there are soooo many of them, and each so very talented. Yes i know i sound quite lame, but this is my first attempt at describing Music and the 'thought' matters, so shoosh!
So what is so brilliant about them? They literally have it all, I mean right from the lead singer to their fans. Each one of them has an aura of energy around them that reverberates to the audience. Plus, they have someone on the Sax!! (I rest my case)
So incase you havent heard them or heard of them. Go ahead.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zdJkPGiBWk :)
I cant quite say what kind of music they play. I'm not the Music genius who drops genre names at the drop of a hat. In fact I think I still define Music as either Loud or Mellow. Thats it! I can not tell the difference between Psy and Tance and Electronic and whatever! Anyway, getting back to the band.
First of all there are soooo many of them, and each so very talented. Yes i know i sound quite lame, but this is my first attempt at describing Music and the 'thought' matters, so shoosh!
So what is so brilliant about them? They literally have it all, I mean right from the lead singer to their fans. Each one of them has an aura of energy around them that reverberates to the audience. Plus, they have someone on the Sax!! (I rest my case)
So incase you havent heard them or heard of them. Go ahead.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zdJkPGiBWk :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Lohri!
One of my favourite Festival, hence I thought it deserves at least one post :)
So this is how is goes (for the unaware), you dress up. Light a bonfire. Go in circles around it. Eat and throw popcorn/til/puffer rice. Sounds like fun right? :P
Throughout childhood, Lohri has been that one festival which always turns out to be very exciting. Whether it was in the unit or with family or the rather adventurous one with HC, they've all had this peculiar charm which sticks on!!
And how can i forget the one last year, with the music and the Samara and the wall climbing madness with street dancing et al.
There's something about it, it makes me miss my dear dear Punjab so very much:) with the colourful phulkaris and the dhol, the singing and dancing...its a very Punjabi affair!
With each handful of til you throw into the fire, you burn away a bit of evil. evil within you and around you. And believe it or not, there is that incredible sense of relief every time you do it :) Its our way of doing away with all the wrongs and starting afresh.
So heres wishing you a rather colourful, happy, mad Lohri :) :)
So this is how is goes (for the unaware), you dress up. Light a bonfire. Go in circles around it. Eat and throw popcorn/til/puffer rice. Sounds like fun right? :P
Throughout childhood, Lohri has been that one festival which always turns out to be very exciting. Whether it was in the unit or with family or the rather adventurous one with HC, they've all had this peculiar charm which sticks on!!
And how can i forget the one last year, with the music and the Samara and the wall climbing madness with street dancing et al.
There's something about it, it makes me miss my dear dear Punjab so very much:) with the colourful phulkaris and the dhol, the singing and dancing...its a very Punjabi affair!
With each handful of til you throw into the fire, you burn away a bit of evil. evil within you and around you. And believe it or not, there is that incredible sense of relief every time you do it :) Its our way of doing away with all the wrongs and starting afresh.
So heres wishing you a rather colourful, happy, mad Lohri :) :)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Pepsieewwwww!!
I open my facebook page and see an update from my sister and since she hardly updates anything, i click on the link...and EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! seriously??
It took me to the "NEW" Pepsi WorldCup campaign with Dhoni et al body painted in flames!!! What were you thinking? No, Seriously...WHAT??
According to the VP Marketing, they wanted to bring out the passion and FERVOR and ENERGY that WE Indians associate with cricket. Ummm...i'm an Indian, quite an Indian actually, and reasonable passionate about Cricket and I DONT FEEL ANY OF IT!!!
Sometimes it really surprises me how people with (what seems like) millions of years of work experience take such STUPID decisions! It was as if in one stroke the entire image which took years to create was washed away. But this isn't the first time, Pepsi as a brand has made some very ridiculous decisions in the past too. Compare it to Coke and there we see a sensible marketer, keeping it real!!
Maybe this is a lesson for them, maybe not (im sticking to the whole they are STUPID bit).
I guess its Bye Bye Pepsi and Hello Coke :D
It took me to the "NEW" Pepsi WorldCup campaign with Dhoni et al body painted in flames!!! What were you thinking? No, Seriously...WHAT??
According to the VP Marketing, they wanted to bring out the passion and FERVOR and ENERGY that WE Indians associate with cricket. Ummm...i'm an Indian, quite an Indian actually, and reasonable passionate about Cricket and I DONT FEEL ANY OF IT!!!
Sometimes it really surprises me how people with (what seems like) millions of years of work experience take such STUPID decisions! It was as if in one stroke the entire image which took years to create was washed away. But this isn't the first time, Pepsi as a brand has made some very ridiculous decisions in the past too. Compare it to Coke and there we see a sensible marketer, keeping it real!!
Maybe this is a lesson for them, maybe not (im sticking to the whole they are STUPID bit).
I guess its Bye Bye Pepsi and Hello Coke :D
Monday, January 10, 2011
And IT was born :)
The one question "is there any MBA institute that does not have a management fest?" This one question. It led to the birth of an idea. The birth of our baby..ORION 2010.
And while there were many falling outs and 'issues'...ORION was born.
Like a new born child... it was demanding, attention seeking and kept us awake for weeks!! And like any devotional parent...we didn't really seem to mind any of it.
Starting from nothing but scratch, our whole batch worked their way to those final 2 days. We literally Survived the management, Adapted our lifestyles, Evolved our thinking and we are hoping to Thrive much more this year.
We knew one thing, we are not an IIM or an XLRI, but we are something that none of them are. We are SIMS, with our own peculiar "way of life", something that puts us apart. Something that has made our Alumni some of the most successful people in their respective fields. We aren't about bookish studies, we aren't about High CAT scores or class room teaching. We are about practicality, about street smartness, about 'doing'. We are about partying our heart out but still kicking any one's ass at any competition nation wide. And THAT is what sets us apart. And that is what we wanted the world to see. Not just any Symbiosis MBA institute, but SIMS! Our Individuality!! Hence, the theme last year!!
And we're back again...for another 2 days of complete madness and drama!!
So as we pushed our chairs back and tilted our heads to come up with this years theme, we went through our journey in the year gone by. The entire event last year.
And the one thing that kept bouncing up in our heads like an annoying bug was that whatever said and done, we are NOT having a run of the mill, regular B school theme. Its got to be Fun and its got to be US, just like ORION 2010!! And what better or rather "who" better to describe our life here than our Beloved Murphy! Its almost as if HIS laws were made keeping SIMS in consideration, we have him around all the time :)
So welcome to ORION 2011, you better be prepared to UnExpect the Expected.
Mr Murphy seems to be on our side this time and WE are not making it easy for you :D
And while there were many falling outs and 'issues'...ORION was born.
Like a new born child... it was demanding, attention seeking and kept us awake for weeks!! And like any devotional parent...we didn't really seem to mind any of it.
Starting from nothing but scratch, our whole batch worked their way to those final 2 days. We literally Survived the management, Adapted our lifestyles, Evolved our thinking and we are hoping to Thrive much more this year.
We knew one thing, we are not an IIM or an XLRI, but we are something that none of them are. We are SIMS, with our own peculiar "way of life", something that puts us apart. Something that has made our Alumni some of the most successful people in their respective fields. We aren't about bookish studies, we aren't about High CAT scores or class room teaching. We are about practicality, about street smartness, about 'doing'. We are about partying our heart out but still kicking any one's ass at any competition nation wide. And THAT is what sets us apart. And that is what we wanted the world to see. Not just any Symbiosis MBA institute, but SIMS! Our Individuality!! Hence, the theme last year!!
And we're back again...for another 2 days of complete madness and drama!!
So as we pushed our chairs back and tilted our heads to come up with this years theme, we went through our journey in the year gone by. The entire event last year.
And the one thing that kept bouncing up in our heads like an annoying bug was that whatever said and done, we are NOT having a run of the mill, regular B school theme. Its got to be Fun and its got to be US, just like ORION 2010!! And what better or rather "who" better to describe our life here than our Beloved Murphy! Its almost as if HIS laws were made keeping SIMS in consideration, we have him around all the time :)
So welcome to ORION 2011, you better be prepared to UnExpect the Expected.
Mr Murphy seems to be on our side this time and WE are not making it easy for you :D
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Anger...just this once :)
There are times when we discover a place, a place we can call our own. Where the comfort level is higher and where we tend to bring all our friends.
And sometimes that very place disappoints us. What do we do then? Regret? or forget?
Well knowing me, im not the forgetting sort. Its always been an "issue" with me.
So Regret huh? or ANGER!! oooo i like anger, its so much more less complicating!!
So lets get angry for once, its been so long and i miss the feeling of being all egoistic and angry and maybe a little lame:):)
Here's to NOT being in high spirits!!! :D Cheers!!!
And sometimes that very place disappoints us. What do we do then? Regret? or forget?
Well knowing me, im not the forgetting sort. Its always been an "issue" with me.
So Regret huh? or ANGER!! oooo i like anger, its so much more less complicating!!
So lets get angry for once, its been so long and i miss the feeling of being all egoistic and angry and maybe a little lame:):)
Here's to NOT being in high spirits!!! :D Cheers!!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Fauj!!
I don't remember, but I am told that i used to gobble down aloo paranthas at the age of one. All thanks to my sahayak bhaiya who patiently fed them to me sitting on the steps outside our house in Gangtok. That's how it all began, MY FAUJI LIFE :)
Everything from there has been a very Red and Yellow affair, or as my father emphasises, Scarlet and Gold!! No matter which regiment you've been in, the regimental colours hold that special place in your heart.
As kids, our fascination for the army was at another level. We'd love to salute and shout out "ram ram saab". Our unit was a girl dominated one, and we made absolutely no effort to include the one odd boy that came along. We'd still play ghar ghar with our barbies and expect the "boy" to play along.
Cycling was probably our only Job. We'd discovered all the roads (the proper ones and the ones for tanks) in the whole of any cantonment within the first few weeks.
All the mess parties spent in the lawns or the TV room, while we gobbled down the snacks from the kitchen even before they could be served, downing cola bottles and playing absolutely ridiculous games and bossing around the younger kids (i was bossed around enough too).
Oh and not to forget the Bachelors, they were always a hit with the kids. Dragged to the TV room to play hide and seek and what not.
Moving from one station to another never seemed to be a problem since the whole regiment moved together, the mess looked the same everywhere, the same uncles and aunties, same kids to play with, same bhaiyas, same vehicles. It was like taking a part of the city to wherever we went :)
As a kid, the most awaited part of my day used to at around 4pm when the DR bahiya would come on his green bullet to deliver the daak. I could hear the sound from a distance and would rush to the door. I think my fascination for bikes (specially the royal enfield) started then.
Being posted in stations like palampur and babina, we didn't really have a "city" to go to like other kids of our age or to be fascinated by the worldly things.(I don't remember watching too much TV either, cable was a "luxury" that smaller towns couldn't afford). So, besides the games and the cycling throughout the day, we came up with alot of interesting stuff, we opened a library in our block which lasted a week. We did alot of completely mad dancing for the grown ups (we had proper shows :P). We went for a million picnics. We formed our own secret club with a club house in the woods and everything.
I don't know how many children have gone through this, but we at our unit have...quite a few times...the Ladies Club!! I remember sitting in the mess sticking rope onto glass bottles to make invitation cards or helping decorate the ante room...I'd say child labour!! But its not like we were complaining :D
The raising day was the most awaited 3 day event of the year!! (yes, it beat New years eve and everything) All the preparations and the excitement. The pagal Gymkhana, the GCOs Vs Officers Basket Ball match, Mandir Gurudwara,the Bada Khana(as we grew up, the Mess Dinner too )...three days of alot of fun:)
We've all fired the Insas in the firing range, gotten a BMP/Tank ride, Even driven them both, sang at least one song with the jazz band at a mess dinner, done ballroom dancing, had our first awkward formal sitting dinner, gotten attached to at least one sahayak bhaiya, taken part in a garden competition, prayed alot when our fathers would be in field/forward area, gone for atleast one adventure camp, fought with another fauji kid who was claiming that his/her unit's better. We've had a life which I wouldn't exchange for the world.
The Garud, The colours, The tag numbers of 260 262 and 264.
Garud ka hoon, Bol Pyare :)
Everything from there has been a very Red and Yellow affair, or as my father emphasises, Scarlet and Gold!! No matter which regiment you've been in, the regimental colours hold that special place in your heart.
As kids, our fascination for the army was at another level. We'd love to salute and shout out "ram ram saab". Our unit was a girl dominated one, and we made absolutely no effort to include the one odd boy that came along. We'd still play ghar ghar with our barbies and expect the "boy" to play along.
Cycling was probably our only Job. We'd discovered all the roads (the proper ones and the ones for tanks) in the whole of any cantonment within the first few weeks.
All the mess parties spent in the lawns or the TV room, while we gobbled down the snacks from the kitchen even before they could be served, downing cola bottles and playing absolutely ridiculous games and bossing around the younger kids (i was bossed around enough too).
Oh and not to forget the Bachelors, they were always a hit with the kids. Dragged to the TV room to play hide and seek and what not.
Moving from one station to another never seemed to be a problem since the whole regiment moved together, the mess looked the same everywhere, the same uncles and aunties, same kids to play with, same bhaiyas, same vehicles. It was like taking a part of the city to wherever we went :)
As a kid, the most awaited part of my day used to at around 4pm when the DR bahiya would come on his green bullet to deliver the daak. I could hear the sound from a distance and would rush to the door. I think my fascination for bikes (specially the royal enfield) started then.
Being posted in stations like palampur and babina, we didn't really have a "city" to go to like other kids of our age or to be fascinated by the worldly things.(I don't remember watching too much TV either, cable was a "luxury" that smaller towns couldn't afford). So, besides the games and the cycling throughout the day, we came up with alot of interesting stuff, we opened a library in our block which lasted a week. We did alot of completely mad dancing for the grown ups (we had proper shows :P). We went for a million picnics. We formed our own secret club with a club house in the woods and everything.
I don't know how many children have gone through this, but we at our unit have...quite a few times...the Ladies Club!! I remember sitting in the mess sticking rope onto glass bottles to make invitation cards or helping decorate the ante room...I'd say child labour!! But its not like we were complaining :D
The raising day was the most awaited 3 day event of the year!! (yes, it beat New years eve and everything) All the preparations and the excitement. The pagal Gymkhana, the GCOs Vs Officers Basket Ball match, Mandir Gurudwara,the Bada Khana(as we grew up, the Mess Dinner too )...three days of alot of fun:)
We've all fired the Insas in the firing range, gotten a BMP/Tank ride, Even driven them both, sang at least one song with the jazz band at a mess dinner, done ballroom dancing, had our first awkward formal sitting dinner, gotten attached to at least one sahayak bhaiya, taken part in a garden competition, prayed alot when our fathers would be in field/forward area, gone for atleast one adventure camp, fought with another fauji kid who was claiming that his/her unit's better. We've had a life which I wouldn't exchange for the world.
The Garud, The colours, The tag numbers of 260 262 and 264.
Garud ka hoon, Bol Pyare :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sarah Monkey James
It feels like yesterday that we sat on those steps and counted stars, searching for that one shooting star that'll make our tomorrow better than everyone elses.
I sat up all yesterday night looking for that one shooting star, hoping my today wouldn't be the way it is. Its amazing how grief has its own mysterious ways of showing up in our lives. And all i can hope for is that heaven is what our pretend kingdom was. Chocolate houses, pretty cakes et al. Minus the eVil witch of course.
Those crazy walks around the park. That laughing so loud, people thought we were nuts. The spontaneous sing and dance without thinking where we were. You getting those horrendous sun glasses and wearing them for almost 5 months just because they were D&G!! Singing "one of us" for what seemed like centuries. Fighting to eat the last slice/chip/bite. Thinking we'd become "cool" someday. (I still haven't btw)
Every single thing we did, seems like a dream today. As if all of it was always written in sand. I sat down in the morning and I realised how little i remember and how easily i let you go.
How maybe I could've made this magical difference somehow. Somehow we would still be hunting shooting stars together.
Still living in our pretend world of chocolates. Fighting the Evil with our super power guns.
Everything I can think of seems to end with a "what if", a question I keep asking myself. I know I'll never get the answer but really..what if..
Maybe that one call on Sunday would've changed this. Maybe I wouldn't have had to write this post. Maybe.
Sarah Monkey James, I don't know what happened, Nobody does. I just wish you could come back because I know you, I know who you are and you are NOT this person.
There is so much I can write to try and convince you to come back, only if that would work. Only if God really was one of us and he'd understand.
I sat up all yesterday night looking for that one shooting star, hoping my today wouldn't be the way it is. Its amazing how grief has its own mysterious ways of showing up in our lives. And all i can hope for is that heaven is what our pretend kingdom was. Chocolate houses, pretty cakes et al. Minus the eVil witch of course.
Those crazy walks around the park. That laughing so loud, people thought we were nuts. The spontaneous sing and dance without thinking where we were. You getting those horrendous sun glasses and wearing them for almost 5 months just because they were D&G!! Singing "one of us" for what seemed like centuries. Fighting to eat the last slice/chip/bite. Thinking we'd become "cool" someday. (I still haven't btw)
Every single thing we did, seems like a dream today. As if all of it was always written in sand. I sat down in the morning and I realised how little i remember and how easily i let you go.
How maybe I could've made this magical difference somehow. Somehow we would still be hunting shooting stars together.
Still living in our pretend world of chocolates. Fighting the Evil with our super power guns.
Everything I can think of seems to end with a "what if", a question I keep asking myself. I know I'll never get the answer but really..what if..
Maybe that one call on Sunday would've changed this. Maybe I wouldn't have had to write this post. Maybe.
Sarah Monkey James, I don't know what happened, Nobody does. I just wish you could come back because I know you, I know who you are and you are NOT this person.
There is so much I can write to try and convince you to come back, only if that would work. Only if God really was one of us and he'd understand.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
WiNteR LoVe.
That chill. Those red noses. The polar bear dressing. The constant sniffing. The cold feet (the literal meaning). The misty fog. The coffee and tea overdose. The snuggle snuggle. WINTER'S HERE!!! In all its Glory (:
When suddenly the quilt becomes our best friend and those thick colourful socks and gloves and caps and mufflers come out. We layer ourselves up from head to toe and step out in the chill. Smiling.
I love the feeling of a cold nose (maybe I'm weird) and of feeling the chilly winter air on my cheeks. The sun makes me happy and the tea happier.
Its my favourite season, with it starting with Diwali and going all through Christmas and New Year. There aren't any better months in a year:)
Here's to all the red green and white and all the celebration and to that peculiar winter clothes smell which i LOVE!!
Welcome back WINTER. Stay a While :)
When suddenly the quilt becomes our best friend and those thick colourful socks and gloves and caps and mufflers come out. We layer ourselves up from head to toe and step out in the chill. Smiling.
I love the feeling of a cold nose (maybe I'm weird) and of feeling the chilly winter air on my cheeks. The sun makes me happy and the tea happier.
Its my favourite season, with it starting with Diwali and going all through Christmas and New Year. There aren't any better months in a year:)
Here's to all the red green and white and all the celebration and to that peculiar winter clothes smell which i LOVE!!
Welcome back WINTER. Stay a While :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
People always leave.
There are people who come in our lives, stay for a while, change a lot and LEAVE.
Sometimes its for the best, but most of the times its not.
They become a part of our little worlds and decide suddenly that they don't want us in theirs.
Maybe we aren't worth their time, or worth occupying that space in their little/huge worlds.
Whichever way, what are we suppose to do then??? Accept it? Accept that we aren't worthy of their time?
Or Fight for it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm no talking about Love. I am not referring to those who we fall madly in and out of love with.
I'm talking about Friends, acquaintances. People who made a difference. Maybe they made us think differently. Act differently. Made us feel good about who we are Or simply made fun of us.
What do we do when they eventually get bored of us or maybe jut grow out of what we had? It could be your best friend, your next door neighbour, your roommate, a classmate, a complete stranger you had a drunk conversation with..absolutely anyone.
They are like these perfect angels who make everything seem right or at least give us the hope that things will be fine. We are the best around them, realising our potential, our strengths.
And suddenly when they go, everything comes crashing down. Maybe its God's way of helping us not get too dependant on anyone, on realising our worth...ALONE. Whichever way, they need to keep coming. Keep making us shine and be oh so bright. Because even when they're gone, the warm glow stays.
And its how positive we can be about it which makes all the difference. They aren't God's joke to us, they're this brilliance in disguise to make us keep going and make us strong.
Like the little butterflies we mustn't catch, we mustn't try and hold onto them too.
Let it go. Let it be. They'll come back if its in our DestinY.
Sometimes its for the best, but most of the times its not.
They become a part of our little worlds and decide suddenly that they don't want us in theirs.
Maybe we aren't worth their time, or worth occupying that space in their little/huge worlds.
Whichever way, what are we suppose to do then??? Accept it? Accept that we aren't worthy of their time?
Or Fight for it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm no talking about Love. I am not referring to those who we fall madly in and out of love with.
I'm talking about Friends, acquaintances. People who made a difference. Maybe they made us think differently. Act differently. Made us feel good about who we are Or simply made fun of us.
What do we do when they eventually get bored of us or maybe jut grow out of what we had? It could be your best friend, your next door neighbour, your roommate, a classmate, a complete stranger you had a drunk conversation with..absolutely anyone.
They are like these perfect angels who make everything seem right or at least give us the hope that things will be fine. We are the best around them, realising our potential, our strengths.
And suddenly when they go, everything comes crashing down. Maybe its God's way of helping us not get too dependant on anyone, on realising our worth...ALONE. Whichever way, they need to keep coming. Keep making us shine and be oh so bright. Because even when they're gone, the warm glow stays.
And its how positive we can be about it which makes all the difference. They aren't God's joke to us, they're this brilliance in disguise to make us keep going and make us strong.
Like the little butterflies we mustn't catch, we mustn't try and hold onto them too.
Let it go. Let it be. They'll come back if its in our DestinY.
Monday, December 13, 2010
.
Someone once said this to me "actions speak louder than words". I know,stale saying. But the way it was said and repeated and repeated again. It somehow stuck.
What we do is what defines us. We could preach amazing things and say even better things. But it always boils down to what we actually do.
I might not be too proud of ALL my actions but most of them are who i am. And the ones i do not approve of, are also who i am, or at least was. We can't erase History, that's the best/worst thing about it. Its sticks around and the more you try and suppress it, the more it surfaces :)
So just be okay with what you are and who you are, no matter how horrible you think that version of you seems. Because ultimately, there will always be people who will still love you for the worst version of you. And if they dont, then well its good to know sooner than later :D
Every little action has a story behind it, whether we agree with this or not, its true. Its the story which gets the reaction we refer to as "action". Life if full of millions of little pieces, millions of little stories defining who we are. Some we remember, some we let go. Both of the kind help us grow into the people we become and the people we will be in the future.
What we do is what defines us. We could preach amazing things and say even better things. But it always boils down to what we actually do.
I might not be too proud of ALL my actions but most of them are who i am. And the ones i do not approve of, are also who i am, or at least was. We can't erase History, that's the best/worst thing about it. Its sticks around and the more you try and suppress it, the more it surfaces :)
So just be okay with what you are and who you are, no matter how horrible you think that version of you seems. Because ultimately, there will always be people who will still love you for the worst version of you. And if they dont, then well its good to know sooner than later :D
Every little action has a story behind it, whether we agree with this or not, its true. Its the story which gets the reaction we refer to as "action". Life if full of millions of little pieces, millions of little stories defining who we are. Some we remember, some we let go. Both of the kind help us grow into the people we become and the people we will be in the future.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Let Rhymes be Rhymes!
Maybe Jack didn't really go up the hill with Jill to fetch a pail of water. And maybe the diamond in the sky isn't just about a star. And just maybe Goosey Goosey Gander is about prostitution and Sing a song Of Six Pence about Henry VIII.
Aren't our precious little worlds complicated enough for us to actually dwell centuries back and figure out the sexual, political and moral implications of the SIMPLE nursery rhymes our children learn today.
Do we really need to complicate and pollute the rhymes we joyfully learned and sang all through kindergarten and more?
Aren't our lives messy enough that we need to kill the Joy of rhymes too for us?
Ok, so some brilliant historian/philosopher/literary genius figured this "quite in the open" mystery. What do you want us to do??? applaud?? congratulate?? for ruining even the simplest thing we could call ours?
I'm happier thinking bah bah black sheep was just some lame rhyme kids came up with during their play time rather than understanding the taxation woes of 12th Century England.
Maybe I'm just being hypocritical considering History is closer to me than to most of the people. Being a student of History, such amazing "discoveries" should enchant me. But they don't. I know the history. I know what happened between Henry the VIII and the church, or how Mary Antoinette was shamed.
What I need to know is that the world can be simple again. I can't seem to stress on this word enough "SIMPLE".
Aren't our precious little worlds complicated enough for us to actually dwell centuries back and figure out the sexual, political and moral implications of the SIMPLE nursery rhymes our children learn today.
Do we really need to complicate and pollute the rhymes we joyfully learned and sang all through kindergarten and more?
Aren't our lives messy enough that we need to kill the Joy of rhymes too for us?
Ok, so some brilliant historian/philosopher/literary genius figured this "quite in the open" mystery. What do you want us to do??? applaud?? congratulate?? for ruining even the simplest thing we could call ours?
I'm happier thinking bah bah black sheep was just some lame rhyme kids came up with during their play time rather than understanding the taxation woes of 12th Century England.
Maybe I'm just being hypocritical considering History is closer to me than to most of the people. Being a student of History, such amazing "discoveries" should enchant me. But they don't. I know the history. I know what happened between Henry the VIII and the church, or how Mary Antoinette was shamed.
What I need to know is that the world can be simple again. I can't seem to stress on this word enough "SIMPLE".
Monday, November 29, 2010
Didi's little ones'
They smile and they tease. The don't listen and suddenly they do.
Is it any wonder that every morning they receive you with a hug and a smile. The warmest of Smiles.
If you miss out on a day, they'll pester you the day after for a reason why.
Everyday before leaving they'll confirm if their "didi" is gonna come tomorrow too.
Living in their uncertain lives, this is probably the only stable factor which they want to protect with their entire will.
They might throw tantrums and run around the entire place, make you wanna scream at them, but the minute they see that you're upset..they'll settle down as if someone cast a magic spell on them.
Its the hardest to say goodbye to them and when you do, your heart breaks. I'm not quite the weepy kind. And when i cry, i cry because of frustration or anger, hardly because of sadness! But when they hugged me goodbye, there was no containing my tears. I pray for them, for their happiness and for their future. Because i know, for a fact, that they want it bright and they want it like noone's ever wanted it. So join me God, in making it happen for them. Making their lives simpler and happier for years to come.
Is it any wonder that every morning they receive you with a hug and a smile. The warmest of Smiles.
If you miss out on a day, they'll pester you the day after for a reason why.
Everyday before leaving they'll confirm if their "didi" is gonna come tomorrow too.
Living in their uncertain lives, this is probably the only stable factor which they want to protect with their entire will.
They might throw tantrums and run around the entire place, make you wanna scream at them, but the minute they see that you're upset..they'll settle down as if someone cast a magic spell on them.
Its the hardest to say goodbye to them and when you do, your heart breaks. I'm not quite the weepy kind. And when i cry, i cry because of frustration or anger, hardly because of sadness! But when they hugged me goodbye, there was no containing my tears. I pray for them, for their happiness and for their future. Because i know, for a fact, that they want it bright and they want it like noone's ever wanted it. So join me God, in making it happen for them. Making their lives simpler and happier for years to come.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Yes-ing the No-s !
Yes I am loud.
No I don't really care what your uptight ass thinks of me.
No I do not comb my hair. (and i shall not let YOU comb my hair either)
Yes i wear different earrings everyday of my life for absolutely no reason.(stop asking me why)
Yes I absolutely LOVE Bollywood Music. (You're not Indian if you don't :P)
Yes I hate it that Pune has no club that plays it.
Yes I can ride a bike.
Yes I hate it when people doubt that just because I'm a girl.
No I'm not big fan of the new Millenium.
Yes I wish i was this age in the 70s.
Yes I am retarded.
No I don't think it can be cured (courtesy: Adamya Dua)
No I do not understand Trance or Psy or whatever its all called.
No I'm NOT a Feminist. (Its an over rated expression)
Yes I am an Equalist.
Yes I now understand Politics.
No I don't think our Government Sucks. (trust me, it could be worse)
No I also don't think India is the largest Democracy in the true sense.
No India is not a Hindu Nation. It is a SECULAR F*&$%*# Nation.
Yes I am very passionate about Theater and Upstage.
Yes I do plan to continue Theater someday:) .
Yes the thought of food makes me Smile.
No I don't agree to the statement "God lives in each one of us"
Yes I've met enough Ungodly people in my life.
Yes I still have faith in Humanity.
Yes I have to stop and play with a Dog if i cross him/her.
No I cannot let it pass.
Yes I fear God.
No I don't think of him as a supreme being.
Yes I think of him as my best friend who will beat the shit out of me for doing something wrong.
Yes I find almost everyone pretty.
Yes I love travelling. (who doesn't)
Yes I wish i could study History for a little longer.
Yes I had a dream, of being an archaeologist.
No my passion for Russia or Egypt has not died.
Yes I can Dance all night.
No I don't know how to dance.
Yes I wish i could sing.
Yes I miss Bruno very much and cry for him all the time.
Yes I am very scared of Death.
No I don't try and put up a brave face.
Yes I am terrified of losing my friends.
No I don't hurt people intentionally.
Yes I have to go do something about it if someone I know is hurt or troubled.
No he/she does not have to be a friend.
Yes I think people who cannot respect others are Jerks.
Yes I think the teaching teaches me more than what it teaches my students.
Yes I miss my two best friends in Delhi very much.
No I don't think I'll ever forget them.
Yes I love football.
Yea I know what offside is. (Another guy in an attempt to be cool asks me that and trust me my foot will be in his freakin' ass)
No I cant play football to save my life.
Yes I am very clumsy and accident prone.
Yes I believe in Silluvious.
Yes he saves me everytime.
Yes I miss way too many people.
No I'm not ashamed of it.
Yes I LOVE my parents.
Yes I LOVE my sister.
Yes I LOVE my entire extended family and we are the best together.
Yes I like having a good time.
No I don't believe you when you say "I don't know what happened, I was too drunk"
Yes I think "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" is the most profound thought.
Yes I do begin many of my sentences with "dekho..."
Yes I call Ice cream "I Ceeem" and Kichad "Chikad" etc.
Yes I get very amused when people get embarrassed.
No I don't usually get embarrassed.
Yes I do get shy.
No I cannot take compliments.
Yes I know I usually don't give compliments either.
Yes I do judge people.
Yes I am usually wrong.
Yes I am brilliant with Directions.
No I cannot give directions on the phone.
Yes I love talking.
Yes I am an impatient listener.
Yes I'm always early.
No I don't like people being late.
No I don't make people uncomfortable around me.
Yes I am called "puffy" "puff" "dot"...
No I donot use a surname.
No It's NOT a big deal.
Yes I do end up liking almost ALL movies I see.
Yes I think India has way too many languages.
No I don't like the way Marathi sounds.
Yes it sounds abusive (no offence)
Yes I know what I'm doing.
Yes I know how to kick ass at Living.
No I don't always like being around people.
Yes I have hope.
Yes I love the Indian Army and I salute them every single day.
NO I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU if you don't show some respect during the national anthem.
Yes singing it makes me extremely proud.
Yes i tear up at times during it.
Yes I have loved.
No I don't regret it.
Yes I love McLeodganj and Goa.
No I donot like Baga. (I would go to a club if i wanted to see dolled up girlies)
Yes I laugh very loudly.
Yes I get very random at times.
Yes I could go on.
No I wont.
(:
No I don't really care what your uptight ass thinks of me.
No I do not comb my hair. (and i shall not let YOU comb my hair either)
Yes i wear different earrings everyday of my life for absolutely no reason.(stop asking me why)
Yes I absolutely LOVE Bollywood Music. (You're not Indian if you don't :P)
Yes I hate it that Pune has no club that plays it.
Yes I can ride a bike.
Yes I hate it when people doubt that just because I'm a girl.
No I'm not big fan of the new Millenium.
Yes I wish i was this age in the 70s.
Yes I am retarded.
No I don't think it can be cured (courtesy: Adamya Dua)
No I do not understand Trance or Psy or whatever its all called.
No I'm NOT a Feminist. (Its an over rated expression)
Yes I am an Equalist.
Yes I now understand Politics.
No I don't think our Government Sucks. (trust me, it could be worse)
No I also don't think India is the largest Democracy in the true sense.
No India is not a Hindu Nation. It is a SECULAR F*&$%*# Nation.
Yes I am very passionate about Theater and Upstage.
Yes I do plan to continue Theater someday:) .
Yes the thought of food makes me Smile.
No I don't agree to the statement "God lives in each one of us"
Yes I've met enough Ungodly people in my life.
Yes I still have faith in Humanity.
Yes I have to stop and play with a Dog if i cross him/her.
No I cannot let it pass.
Yes I fear God.
No I don't think of him as a supreme being.
Yes I think of him as my best friend who will beat the shit out of me for doing something wrong.
Yes I find almost everyone pretty.
Yes I love travelling. (who doesn't)
Yes I wish i could study History for a little longer.
Yes I had a dream, of being an archaeologist.
No my passion for Russia or Egypt has not died.
Yes I can Dance all night.
No I don't know how to dance.
Yes I wish i could sing.
Yes I miss Bruno very much and cry for him all the time.
Yes I am very scared of Death.
No I don't try and put up a brave face.
Yes I am terrified of losing my friends.
No I don't hurt people intentionally.
Yes I have to go do something about it if someone I know is hurt or troubled.
No he/she does not have to be a friend.
Yes I think people who cannot respect others are Jerks.
Yes I think the teaching teaches me more than what it teaches my students.
Yes I miss my two best friends in Delhi very much.
No I don't think I'll ever forget them.
Yes I love football.
Yea I know what offside is. (Another guy in an attempt to be cool asks me that and trust me my foot will be in his freakin' ass)
No I cant play football to save my life.
Yes I am very clumsy and accident prone.
Yes I believe in Silluvious.
Yes he saves me everytime.
Yes I miss way too many people.
No I'm not ashamed of it.
Yes I LOVE my parents.
Yes I LOVE my sister.
Yes I LOVE my entire extended family and we are the best together.
Yes I like having a good time.
No I don't believe you when you say "I don't know what happened, I was too drunk"
Yes I think "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" is the most profound thought.
Yes I do begin many of my sentences with "dekho..."
Yes I call Ice cream "I Ceeem" and Kichad "Chikad" etc.
Yes I get very amused when people get embarrassed.
No I don't usually get embarrassed.
Yes I do get shy.
No I cannot take compliments.
Yes I know I usually don't give compliments either.
Yes I do judge people.
Yes I am usually wrong.
Yes I am brilliant with Directions.
No I cannot give directions on the phone.
Yes I love talking.
Yes I am an impatient listener.
Yes I'm always early.
No I don't like people being late.
No I don't make people uncomfortable around me.
Yes I am called "puffy" "puff" "dot"...
No I donot use a surname.
No It's NOT a big deal.
Yes I do end up liking almost ALL movies I see.
Yes I think India has way too many languages.
No I don't like the way Marathi sounds.
Yes it sounds abusive (no offence)
Yes I know what I'm doing.
Yes I know how to kick ass at Living.
No I don't always like being around people.
Yes I have hope.
Yes I love the Indian Army and I salute them every single day.
NO I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU if you don't show some respect during the national anthem.
Yes singing it makes me extremely proud.
Yes i tear up at times during it.
Yes I have loved.
No I don't regret it.
Yes I love McLeodganj and Goa.
No I donot like Baga. (I would go to a club if i wanted to see dolled up girlies)
Yes I laugh very loudly.
Yes I get very random at times.
Yes I could go on.
No I wont.
(:
Monday, November 22, 2010
Love Me Do.
Lennon
McCartney
Harrison
Starr
Who ever thought that a decade of Music by these four would bring a spark in the eyes of MANY even 4 decades later.
It was an Era, the BeatleMania caught up and stuck around for years.
They were one of the few most defining artist of the FlowerPower Era. Together their music created a movement, a revolution of the calmer more sublime sort. Something everyone from the "Age" remembers and dearly misses.
The 70s weren't only about free sex and drugs (even though it made up a colossal part of it ) They were about Free expression, of thought, of music, of art.
So is it a wonder that so many Music legends were born. Who threw open the limitless possibilities for generations to follow.
They remain with us, Always.
Their music, those very words, the feeling. They created Memories and Moments, not just music. Moments which people like you and me can associate to even though we weren't even thought of then.
(:
McCartney
Harrison
Starr
Who ever thought that a decade of Music by these four would bring a spark in the eyes of MANY even 4 decades later.
It was an Era, the BeatleMania caught up and stuck around for years.
They were one of the few most defining artist of the FlowerPower Era. Together their music created a movement, a revolution of the calmer more sublime sort. Something everyone from the "Age" remembers and dearly misses.
The 70s weren't only about free sex and drugs (even though it made up a colossal part of it ) They were about Free expression, of thought, of music, of art.
So is it a wonder that so many Music legends were born. Who threw open the limitless possibilities for generations to follow.
They remain with us, Always.
Their music, those very words, the feeling. They created Memories and Moments, not just music. Moments which people like you and me can associate to even though we weren't even thought of then.
(:
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Change
Have you ever had that one single most defining moment in your life, from where you knew that you wouldn't be the person you were before.
That one moment where everything changed and even if "everything" didn't change, at least something did...something important and essential which made you look at life with a different perspective.
I had mine, few years ago. You might think i'v always been this absolutely retarded person. But trust me, its by choice :)
I mean i wasn't too sane ever but the extended streak of madness happened quite recently. That's the reason why i let things not bother me. I mean sure i have a heart, and it pains at times(quite a few times) but i try to let it all go. Just let it be. And kick start from the better part of life, the part which was simpler, happier and crazier.
We all have our moment. If you havent had yours, you will. It's usually not pleasant, but the consequences are. Its a way of your soul telling you "listen you dumb idiot, its time you realise what you're all about" :)
That one moment where everything changed and even if "everything" didn't change, at least something did...something important and essential which made you look at life with a different perspective.
I had mine, few years ago. You might think i'v always been this absolutely retarded person. But trust me, its by choice :)
I mean i wasn't too sane ever but the extended streak of madness happened quite recently. That's the reason why i let things not bother me. I mean sure i have a heart, and it pains at times(quite a few times) but i try to let it all go. Just let it be. And kick start from the better part of life, the part which was simpler, happier and crazier.
We all have our moment. If you havent had yours, you will. It's usually not pleasant, but the consequences are. Its a way of your soul telling you "listen you dumb idiot, its time you realise what you're all about" :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Mind It.
We've gone through the classes, done much more. An MBA should mean something rite? If nothing else then atleast it should be proof that i can read and write, know my grammar and form sentences. What happens when those very basics are questioned? When someone asks you why "monkey" is pronounced the way it is and not the same was as "donkey" or vice verse? and when all your education seems to crumble and you reply "thats just how it is!"
I think it all makes sense, no wonder the British are so crooked, they dont even speak what they write, forget writing what they mean. English language can complicate and there is no easy way of knowing it. The best way to teach it is to do so through Devanagari script. PHONETICS! Our way out.
A- ए, B-ब, C-क, D-ड..thats the way to go. Each english alphabet corresponding to a hindi one.
The Devanagari is the most logical script, you write what you speak...right down to the last maatra. Unlike English with its "silent" words and confusing varying spellings. So go ahead..learn English the Hindi way :)
I think it all makes sense, no wonder the British are so crooked, they dont even speak what they write, forget writing what they mean. English language can complicate and there is no easy way of knowing it. The best way to teach it is to do so through Devanagari script. PHONETICS! Our way out.
A- ए, B-ब, C-क, D-ड..thats the way to go. Each english alphabet corresponding to a hindi one.
The Devanagari is the most logical script, you write what you speak...right down to the last maatra. Unlike English with its "silent" words and confusing varying spellings. So go ahead..learn English the Hindi way :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Delhiites, Mumbaikars and Puneites
We all belong to a particular place, a place we love and protect with animalistic instincts. So when recently (it happens a lot) someone began the "Delhi sux" debate with me once again...i jumped open clawed at the soul, defending my love.my city.
There are always 2 kinds of people anywhere you go (you could categorise them in many more splits..i prefer 2) ,the ones like you and the ones not like you.
Its which ones you meet more often that determines your love/hate for the city.
We complain about the traffic, the city, the weather...when all we are actually complaining about are the people.
Delhi wouldn't be Delhi without its loud over dressed Delhiites. And no matter how much i hate them, i still would find the city incomplete without them. Or the kurta & jeans wearing DU students swarming CP and the cultural hot spots. Each one of them defines the Delhi we know today. From the LOUD Punjabi Baug and Rajouri Garden to the chic Greater Kailash, to the Non chalant North Campus. All of them make Delhi the city it is today. The Melting Pot of India. The capital city.
Same goes for the Mumbaikars and their mixed language which is quite a curry of Hindi Marathi Gujrati and i don't know what not. Remove the "always-in-a-hurry" mumbaikar from Mumbai and it pretty much loses its charm or the lack of it. Or the smell of fish and salt the minute you land in the city. Its these small things, the funny names (come on...Chinchpokli?!),the tormenting Locals and the surprisingly disciplined bus and taxi lines,that's one thing Mumbaikars do best..Stand in a queue...THIS is Mumbai for me. Not the Gateway of India or the Marine Drive.
Coming to Pune, well my definition of it is " Its a small city, aiming to be huge...pretty much caught in the middle. The same goes for the people. The whole IDEA to be "known" is so high in this city..its almost scary. Its as if from the time one reaches standard 9, there's this urge to be seen in the right places, with the right people doing the right thing (which mind you, isn't really right). The pressure might be because here EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE" Oh and not to forget...the constant need to ape everything "in" in Mumbai. Its the whole elder brother phenomenon.
Its a debate that might go on for centuries, and something most of us "outsiders" will face everyday. *sigh*
PS: I love you Delhi :P
There are always 2 kinds of people anywhere you go (you could categorise them in many more splits..i prefer 2) ,the ones like you and the ones not like you.
Its which ones you meet more often that determines your love/hate for the city.
We complain about the traffic, the city, the weather...when all we are actually complaining about are the people.
Delhi wouldn't be Delhi without its loud over dressed Delhiites. And no matter how much i hate them, i still would find the city incomplete without them. Or the kurta & jeans wearing DU students swarming CP and the cultural hot spots. Each one of them defines the Delhi we know today. From the LOUD Punjabi Baug and Rajouri Garden to the chic Greater Kailash, to the Non chalant North Campus. All of them make Delhi the city it is today. The Melting Pot of India. The capital city.
Same goes for the Mumbaikars and their mixed language which is quite a curry of Hindi Marathi Gujrati and i don't know what not. Remove the "always-in-a-hurry" mumbaikar from Mumbai and it pretty much loses its charm or the lack of it. Or the smell of fish and salt the minute you land in the city. Its these small things, the funny names (come on...Chinchpokli?!),the tormenting Locals and the surprisingly disciplined bus and taxi lines,that's one thing Mumbaikars do best..Stand in a queue...THIS is Mumbai for me. Not the Gateway of India or the Marine Drive.
Coming to Pune, well my definition of it is " Its a small city, aiming to be huge...pretty much caught in the middle. The same goes for the people. The whole IDEA to be "known" is so high in this city..its almost scary. Its as if from the time one reaches standard 9, there's this urge to be seen in the right places, with the right people doing the right thing (which mind you, isn't really right). The pressure might be because here EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE" Oh and not to forget...the constant need to ape everything "in" in Mumbai. Its the whole elder brother phenomenon.
Its a debate that might go on for centuries, and something most of us "outsiders" will face everyday. *sigh*
PS: I love you Delhi :P
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Never too late
Is it important to be someone you're not. To put up this face, this facade of being "cool" ?
I mean how many times have you stepped back and taken a look at what you've become. Don't judge me, i'm not too much of a preacher with enough wrongs in my kitty..but come on, isn't it time to just close your eyes and see yourself...see who you've become. 1 in 10 chances are that you'll stand up and smile and walk off content, but the 9 other times, there will be something...something small that'll bother you. Maybe not life changing devastating, but something. That'll make you think WHY. Why did it have to be the way it did. Those are the Why's we need to answer before they become etched in rocks we never knew existed.
10 maybe 15 years down the line, if i were to ask you..."so regret anything about your life"...please let the answer be NO and if you think it'll be otherwise, then now's your chance...to change it. To make sure that its NO.
I mean how many times have you stepped back and taken a look at what you've become. Don't judge me, i'm not too much of a preacher with enough wrongs in my kitty..but come on, isn't it time to just close your eyes and see yourself...see who you've become. 1 in 10 chances are that you'll stand up and smile and walk off content, but the 9 other times, there will be something...something small that'll bother you. Maybe not life changing devastating, but something. That'll make you think WHY. Why did it have to be the way it did. Those are the Why's we need to answer before they become etched in rocks we never knew existed.
10 maybe 15 years down the line, if i were to ask you..."so regret anything about your life"...please let the answer be NO and if you think it'll be otherwise, then now's your chance...to change it. To make sure that its NO.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Bigger Picture
I step out with the grumpiest look possible, the rain just makes everything so dirty. Jumping between puddles of water and eeeeeking every time something wet or muddy splashes me. Upset that my shoes and bag have mud spots on them. I crib incessantly and grumpily cross the road. Hail a million autos to finally get one. "Bahiya central jaana hai"....with more eeks and nags about the puddle filled pune roads, i reach my destination. Going through the floor picking up and putting down what seemed like a hundred clothes, i manage to get a few i find "not as bad as the rest". Still with my air of bitchiness i pay the bill...huddle out in the windy front and sign again at how God's just being unfair to me. I mean come on i had a horrible day with the rain and muck and the autos and the really bad clothes and.....when just across the road from where i stand,i see a bicycle...a single one..weighed down by a man in his late 40s, his wife, their two children and a packet of vegetables. Weighed down by their smiles. The kids giggling and laughing while the mother smiled at them while telling them to behave themselves. The father, well he was just satisfied...he had the look on his face, the kind you get when suddenly there's nothing you need anymore. when the whole world seems harmonious and you're content. Everything else became invisible to me, it was just that one bicycle with a family of four...happy.satisfied.not cribbing. and there was me...we'll i think I've already said enough about my pathetic self.
Its not what you got or what you want. Its what you need. And you need very little to feel happy.
I walked back in the drizzle, smiling at myself for absolutely no reason. Suddenly the world looked gorgeous and the water comforting...in some way camouflaging the tears trickling down. The only weight was of the shopping bag which i wish i could throw somewhere. Fast.
Its not what you got or what you want. Its what you need. And you need very little to feel happy.
I walked back in the drizzle, smiling at myself for absolutely no reason. Suddenly the world looked gorgeous and the water comforting...in some way camouflaging the tears trickling down. The only weight was of the shopping bag which i wish i could throw somewhere. Fast.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Could it be ME!
Lets take a step back to the time when,lets just day, i was simpler.
When the world was simpler, no one bothered if our hair were done right, or if the kilos suddenly showed. A simpler world, a simpler me.
Then disaster struck. MEN happened!
From the simpler emotion of hatred towards all BOYS, to the "crush" on few. Our whole world came crumbling down. Like a pile of crashing metal the various ideas and thoughts started weighing us down.
Amist the chaos i lost ME somewhere. To please the 'loved ones', i lost who i was. I stare back at the mirror and turn in disgust. I dont recongnise me. Whatever happened to the happy girl, the simpler girl.
When the world was simpler, no one bothered if our hair were done right, or if the kilos suddenly showed. A simpler world, a simpler me.
Then disaster struck. MEN happened!
From the simpler emotion of hatred towards all BOYS, to the "crush" on few. Our whole world came crumbling down. Like a pile of crashing metal the various ideas and thoughts started weighing us down.
Amist the chaos i lost ME somewhere. To please the 'loved ones', i lost who i was. I stare back at the mirror and turn in disgust. I dont recongnise me. Whatever happened to the happy girl, the simpler girl.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
the Kid:)
Two super excited girls wait outside the house for their mom to arrive with their little bundle of joy:) The gypsy pulls in, mom steps out..we look around...errrrr mom aren't you missing something?? No, here he is...she says so pointing towards a cardboard carton..we rip it open to see this HUGE fair coloured dog jump out with a red thin strap for a collar and leash. Super scared, as we had expected a tiny little pup, we jump back and glare at mom. She smiles and says...he's only three months old, labs grow fast:)
And that's how it all began, that's how we brought him home..in a carton in the train from Chandigarh. He was always smart considering how he got away from the sniffer dogs in shatabdi.
From thinking of crazy names for him to realising that he only responds to "Bruno" as mom had been calling him that the while in Chandigarh. She was his favourite, the only familiar smell for him. But then he came out..out of his shell and the MANY adventures of Bruno followed.
From breaking a million chains to run and chase the dogs and cows, to losing his sweater mysteriously. To jumping at dad for walks and barking at Didi for his afternoon jobs. Snapping at me seemed his favourite pass time, considering that mine was bugging him constantly.
Getting scared of a huge dog as a kid to getting hit in the eye by a cow. He never backed down, taking on a bunch of dogs alone seemed to be his favourite pass time. Getting back bruised and hurt just to be tended to by dad till late at night.
Listening to me talk for hours even though i had to hold him down many times.
Being a favourite amongst kids and being all fatherly around tipsy.
His love for cake and biscuits, to his NOT eating the food without non veg.
Him ALWAYS running to greet us and sulking when we left.
He made everyone fall in love with him. That was just him, a real charmer I'd say.
There are so many things to say and remember, words fall short.
Its the LOVE all of us will always feel for him.
He was my brother..the only real one i ever had:)
And that's how it all began, that's how we brought him home..in a carton in the train from Chandigarh. He was always smart considering how he got away from the sniffer dogs in shatabdi.
From thinking of crazy names for him to realising that he only responds to "Bruno" as mom had been calling him that the while in Chandigarh. She was his favourite, the only familiar smell for him. But then he came out..out of his shell and the MANY adventures of Bruno followed.
From breaking a million chains to run and chase the dogs and cows, to losing his sweater mysteriously. To jumping at dad for walks and barking at Didi for his afternoon jobs. Snapping at me seemed his favourite pass time, considering that mine was bugging him constantly.
Getting scared of a huge dog as a kid to getting hit in the eye by a cow. He never backed down, taking on a bunch of dogs alone seemed to be his favourite pass time. Getting back bruised and hurt just to be tended to by dad till late at night.
Listening to me talk for hours even though i had to hold him down many times.
Being a favourite amongst kids and being all fatherly around tipsy.
His love for cake and biscuits, to his NOT eating the food without non veg.
Him ALWAYS running to greet us and sulking when we left.
He made everyone fall in love with him. That was just him, a real charmer I'd say.
There are so many things to say and remember, words fall short.
Its the LOVE all of us will always feel for him.
He was my brother..the only real one i ever had:)
melodies!
Every song heard has a memory attached to it. Its like a movie which replays itself unwillingly at the sound of that familiar tune or those very words.
From the time i was a kid, memories were based out of music. Every song from saajan reminds me of the long winding roads through holta camp to kullu manali, the bickering with my sister, the trying to do the steps.
Those old punjabi numbers make me feel like im in switzerland again stuffing my mouth with chocolates.
The crazy songs from mohra and what not remind me of our gang in the unit, with each one mugging up the steps and performing for the grown ups.
Who can forget the backstreet boys phase, songs i still remember by heart.
Then there was "I'm ready", i think more than bryan adams..i fell deeper in love with my first love.
From dancing to hip hopper and desi girl to just singing "i'll even let you hold the remote control"...its these few lines and words that just stay with us forever. The sound of them drifts us back to where we were. Where all of it was real.
Every moment in life has a tune, a song attached to it.
The very chill, the very smile, the very warmth, the very joy we felt at the time we sang and danced. it all comes back.
Who said there are no time machines. I got my very own fixed to my ipod!
Happy Listening:)
From the time i was a kid, memories were based out of music. Every song from saajan reminds me of the long winding roads through holta camp to kullu manali, the bickering with my sister, the trying to do the steps.
Those old punjabi numbers make me feel like im in switzerland again stuffing my mouth with chocolates.
The crazy songs from mohra and what not remind me of our gang in the unit, with each one mugging up the steps and performing for the grown ups.
Who can forget the backstreet boys phase, songs i still remember by heart.
Then there was "I'm ready", i think more than bryan adams..i fell deeper in love with my first love.
From dancing to hip hopper and desi girl to just singing "i'll even let you hold the remote control"...its these few lines and words that just stay with us forever. The sound of them drifts us back to where we were. Where all of it was real.
Every moment in life has a tune, a song attached to it.
The very chill, the very smile, the very warmth, the very joy we felt at the time we sang and danced. it all comes back.
Who said there are no time machines. I got my very own fixed to my ipod!
Happy Listening:)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Fool's Garden didnt know what they were saying when they sang Lemontree. Isolations is definately good. Its this stupid lame ass feeling which makes one cheer and celebrate. The feeling that cutting yourself out will draw someone to you. the SYMPATHY. Its a confusing word if you ask me. Some love it, some love to hate it.
Snooze a million times to finally wake up at 6 in the evening to that awful gut feeling of another day wasted. But the thrill of just doing 'nothing' rules over all other "more" guilty feelings :p
Snooze a million times to finally wake up at 6 in the evening to that awful gut feeling of another day wasted. But the thrill of just doing 'nothing' rules over all other "more" guilty feelings :p
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Dilwalon ki Dilli!
Getting off at Nizammudin and getting lost while finding my way out to Comesum is not something new. Its happened before, it happens each time. Being brilliant with directions, this is one i can never remember. Running into my dad's arms and getting out of the crowded station while contantly blabbering in my high pitched voice, i finally reach Home. With mom's amazingly cooked food and just the belonging of being somewhere i belong, somewhere i fit in perfectly :)
Delhi is a place i have made my own. Its where i belong. With the loud dilliwalas and the dhinchak music. The constant abusing and screaming. The wannabe ladies from punjabi bagh to the uptight "chicks" of GK. Its the city thats so different (from me) yet so similar. Getting lost in the theaters around mandi house is a dream i want to grow up to.
Just a spoon of the blueberry cheese cake,a workshop with upstage, a beer at route04, a wednesday at urban pind, an afternoon across, a maggie at the now shut city cafe, a coffee at taj ccd, a walk down lodhi garden, something sweet at utopia, a moment in the IHC amphitheater, a walk around M block, a sub at GK2, a chocolate at 4 number, a stop at khan, a bhel puri at south ex, a play at LTG, a theater fest at North Campus, getting lost in CP, a drive through Chanakyapuri, a chuski at India Gate, a shopping trip at sarojini. Its just all these things and the need to have them again and again and again. Delhi: My Love :)
Delhi is a place i have made my own. Its where i belong. With the loud dilliwalas and the dhinchak music. The constant abusing and screaming. The wannabe ladies from punjabi bagh to the uptight "chicks" of GK. Its the city thats so different (from me) yet so similar. Getting lost in the theaters around mandi house is a dream i want to grow up to.
Just a spoon of the blueberry cheese cake,a workshop with upstage, a beer at route04, a wednesday at urban pind, an afternoon across, a maggie at the now shut city cafe, a coffee at taj ccd, a walk down lodhi garden, something sweet at utopia, a moment in the IHC amphitheater, a walk around M block, a sub at GK2, a chocolate at 4 number, a stop at khan, a bhel puri at south ex, a play at LTG, a theater fest at North Campus, getting lost in CP, a drive through Chanakyapuri, a chuski at India Gate, a shopping trip at sarojini. Its just all these things and the need to have them again and again and again. Delhi: My Love :)
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