It feels like yesterday that we sat on those steps and counted stars, searching for that one shooting star that'll make our tomorrow better than everyone elses.
I sat up all yesterday night looking for that one shooting star, hoping my today wouldn't be the way it is. Its amazing how grief has its own mysterious ways of showing up in our lives. And all i can hope for is that heaven is what our pretend kingdom was. Chocolate houses, pretty cakes et al. Minus the eVil witch of course.
Those crazy walks around the park. That laughing so loud, people thought we were nuts. The spontaneous sing and dance without thinking where we were. You getting those horrendous sun glasses and wearing them for almost 5 months just because they were D&G!! Singing "one of us" for what seemed like centuries. Fighting to eat the last slice/chip/bite. Thinking we'd become "cool" someday. (I still haven't btw)
Every single thing we did, seems like a dream today. As if all of it was always written in sand. I sat down in the morning and I realised how little i remember and how easily i let you go.
How maybe I could've made this magical difference somehow. Somehow we would still be hunting shooting stars together.
Still living in our pretend world of chocolates. Fighting the Evil with our super power guns.
Everything I can think of seems to end with a "what if", a question I keep asking myself. I know I'll never get the answer but really..what if..
Maybe that one call on Sunday would've changed this. Maybe I wouldn't have had to write this post. Maybe.
Sarah Monkey James, I don't know what happened, Nobody does. I just wish you could come back because I know you, I know who you are and you are NOT this person.
There is so much I can write to try and convince you to come back, only if that would work. Only if God really was one of us and he'd understand.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
WiNteR LoVe.
That chill. Those red noses. The polar bear dressing. The constant sniffing. The cold feet (the literal meaning). The misty fog. The coffee and tea overdose. The snuggle snuggle. WINTER'S HERE!!! In all its Glory (:
When suddenly the quilt becomes our best friend and those thick colourful socks and gloves and caps and mufflers come out. We layer ourselves up from head to toe and step out in the chill. Smiling.
I love the feeling of a cold nose (maybe I'm weird) and of feeling the chilly winter air on my cheeks. The sun makes me happy and the tea happier.
Its my favourite season, with it starting with Diwali and going all through Christmas and New Year. There aren't any better months in a year:)
Here's to all the red green and white and all the celebration and to that peculiar winter clothes smell which i LOVE!!
Welcome back WINTER. Stay a While :)
When suddenly the quilt becomes our best friend and those thick colourful socks and gloves and caps and mufflers come out. We layer ourselves up from head to toe and step out in the chill. Smiling.
I love the feeling of a cold nose (maybe I'm weird) and of feeling the chilly winter air on my cheeks. The sun makes me happy and the tea happier.
Its my favourite season, with it starting with Diwali and going all through Christmas and New Year. There aren't any better months in a year:)
Here's to all the red green and white and all the celebration and to that peculiar winter clothes smell which i LOVE!!
Welcome back WINTER. Stay a While :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
People always leave.
There are people who come in our lives, stay for a while, change a lot and LEAVE.
Sometimes its for the best, but most of the times its not.
They become a part of our little worlds and decide suddenly that they don't want us in theirs.
Maybe we aren't worth their time, or worth occupying that space in their little/huge worlds.
Whichever way, what are we suppose to do then??? Accept it? Accept that we aren't worthy of their time?
Or Fight for it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm no talking about Love. I am not referring to those who we fall madly in and out of love with.
I'm talking about Friends, acquaintances. People who made a difference. Maybe they made us think differently. Act differently. Made us feel good about who we are Or simply made fun of us.
What do we do when they eventually get bored of us or maybe jut grow out of what we had? It could be your best friend, your next door neighbour, your roommate, a classmate, a complete stranger you had a drunk conversation with..absolutely anyone.
They are like these perfect angels who make everything seem right or at least give us the hope that things will be fine. We are the best around them, realising our potential, our strengths.
And suddenly when they go, everything comes crashing down. Maybe its God's way of helping us not get too dependant on anyone, on realising our worth...ALONE. Whichever way, they need to keep coming. Keep making us shine and be oh so bright. Because even when they're gone, the warm glow stays.
And its how positive we can be about it which makes all the difference. They aren't God's joke to us, they're this brilliance in disguise to make us keep going and make us strong.
Like the little butterflies we mustn't catch, we mustn't try and hold onto them too.
Let it go. Let it be. They'll come back if its in our DestinY.
Sometimes its for the best, but most of the times its not.
They become a part of our little worlds and decide suddenly that they don't want us in theirs.
Maybe we aren't worth their time, or worth occupying that space in their little/huge worlds.
Whichever way, what are we suppose to do then??? Accept it? Accept that we aren't worthy of their time?
Or Fight for it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm no talking about Love. I am not referring to those who we fall madly in and out of love with.
I'm talking about Friends, acquaintances. People who made a difference. Maybe they made us think differently. Act differently. Made us feel good about who we are Or simply made fun of us.
What do we do when they eventually get bored of us or maybe jut grow out of what we had? It could be your best friend, your next door neighbour, your roommate, a classmate, a complete stranger you had a drunk conversation with..absolutely anyone.
They are like these perfect angels who make everything seem right or at least give us the hope that things will be fine. We are the best around them, realising our potential, our strengths.
And suddenly when they go, everything comes crashing down. Maybe its God's way of helping us not get too dependant on anyone, on realising our worth...ALONE. Whichever way, they need to keep coming. Keep making us shine and be oh so bright. Because even when they're gone, the warm glow stays.
And its how positive we can be about it which makes all the difference. They aren't God's joke to us, they're this brilliance in disguise to make us keep going and make us strong.
Like the little butterflies we mustn't catch, we mustn't try and hold onto them too.
Let it go. Let it be. They'll come back if its in our DestinY.
Monday, December 13, 2010
.
Someone once said this to me "actions speak louder than words". I know,stale saying. But the way it was said and repeated and repeated again. It somehow stuck.
What we do is what defines us. We could preach amazing things and say even better things. But it always boils down to what we actually do.
I might not be too proud of ALL my actions but most of them are who i am. And the ones i do not approve of, are also who i am, or at least was. We can't erase History, that's the best/worst thing about it. Its sticks around and the more you try and suppress it, the more it surfaces :)
So just be okay with what you are and who you are, no matter how horrible you think that version of you seems. Because ultimately, there will always be people who will still love you for the worst version of you. And if they dont, then well its good to know sooner than later :D
Every little action has a story behind it, whether we agree with this or not, its true. Its the story which gets the reaction we refer to as "action". Life if full of millions of little pieces, millions of little stories defining who we are. Some we remember, some we let go. Both of the kind help us grow into the people we become and the people we will be in the future.
What we do is what defines us. We could preach amazing things and say even better things. But it always boils down to what we actually do.
I might not be too proud of ALL my actions but most of them are who i am. And the ones i do not approve of, are also who i am, or at least was. We can't erase History, that's the best/worst thing about it. Its sticks around and the more you try and suppress it, the more it surfaces :)
So just be okay with what you are and who you are, no matter how horrible you think that version of you seems. Because ultimately, there will always be people who will still love you for the worst version of you. And if they dont, then well its good to know sooner than later :D
Every little action has a story behind it, whether we agree with this or not, its true. Its the story which gets the reaction we refer to as "action". Life if full of millions of little pieces, millions of little stories defining who we are. Some we remember, some we let go. Both of the kind help us grow into the people we become and the people we will be in the future.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Let Rhymes be Rhymes!
Maybe Jack didn't really go up the hill with Jill to fetch a pail of water. And maybe the diamond in the sky isn't just about a star. And just maybe Goosey Goosey Gander is about prostitution and Sing a song Of Six Pence about Henry VIII.
Aren't our precious little worlds complicated enough for us to actually dwell centuries back and figure out the sexual, political and moral implications of the SIMPLE nursery rhymes our children learn today.
Do we really need to complicate and pollute the rhymes we joyfully learned and sang all through kindergarten and more?
Aren't our lives messy enough that we need to kill the Joy of rhymes too for us?
Ok, so some brilliant historian/philosopher/literary genius figured this "quite in the open" mystery. What do you want us to do??? applaud?? congratulate?? for ruining even the simplest thing we could call ours?
I'm happier thinking bah bah black sheep was just some lame rhyme kids came up with during their play time rather than understanding the taxation woes of 12th Century England.
Maybe I'm just being hypocritical considering History is closer to me than to most of the people. Being a student of History, such amazing "discoveries" should enchant me. But they don't. I know the history. I know what happened between Henry the VIII and the church, or how Mary Antoinette was shamed.
What I need to know is that the world can be simple again. I can't seem to stress on this word enough "SIMPLE".
Aren't our precious little worlds complicated enough for us to actually dwell centuries back and figure out the sexual, political and moral implications of the SIMPLE nursery rhymes our children learn today.
Do we really need to complicate and pollute the rhymes we joyfully learned and sang all through kindergarten and more?
Aren't our lives messy enough that we need to kill the Joy of rhymes too for us?
Ok, so some brilliant historian/philosopher/literary genius figured this "quite in the open" mystery. What do you want us to do??? applaud?? congratulate?? for ruining even the simplest thing we could call ours?
I'm happier thinking bah bah black sheep was just some lame rhyme kids came up with during their play time rather than understanding the taxation woes of 12th Century England.
Maybe I'm just being hypocritical considering History is closer to me than to most of the people. Being a student of History, such amazing "discoveries" should enchant me. But they don't. I know the history. I know what happened between Henry the VIII and the church, or how Mary Antoinette was shamed.
What I need to know is that the world can be simple again. I can't seem to stress on this word enough "SIMPLE".
Monday, November 29, 2010
Didi's little ones'
They smile and they tease. The don't listen and suddenly they do.
Is it any wonder that every morning they receive you with a hug and a smile. The warmest of Smiles.
If you miss out on a day, they'll pester you the day after for a reason why.
Everyday before leaving they'll confirm if their "didi" is gonna come tomorrow too.
Living in their uncertain lives, this is probably the only stable factor which they want to protect with their entire will.
They might throw tantrums and run around the entire place, make you wanna scream at them, but the minute they see that you're upset..they'll settle down as if someone cast a magic spell on them.
Its the hardest to say goodbye to them and when you do, your heart breaks. I'm not quite the weepy kind. And when i cry, i cry because of frustration or anger, hardly because of sadness! But when they hugged me goodbye, there was no containing my tears. I pray for them, for their happiness and for their future. Because i know, for a fact, that they want it bright and they want it like noone's ever wanted it. So join me God, in making it happen for them. Making their lives simpler and happier for years to come.
Is it any wonder that every morning they receive you with a hug and a smile. The warmest of Smiles.
If you miss out on a day, they'll pester you the day after for a reason why.
Everyday before leaving they'll confirm if their "didi" is gonna come tomorrow too.
Living in their uncertain lives, this is probably the only stable factor which they want to protect with their entire will.
They might throw tantrums and run around the entire place, make you wanna scream at them, but the minute they see that you're upset..they'll settle down as if someone cast a magic spell on them.
Its the hardest to say goodbye to them and when you do, your heart breaks. I'm not quite the weepy kind. And when i cry, i cry because of frustration or anger, hardly because of sadness! But when they hugged me goodbye, there was no containing my tears. I pray for them, for their happiness and for their future. Because i know, for a fact, that they want it bright and they want it like noone's ever wanted it. So join me God, in making it happen for them. Making their lives simpler and happier for years to come.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Yes-ing the No-s !
Yes I am loud.
No I don't really care what your uptight ass thinks of me.
No I do not comb my hair. (and i shall not let YOU comb my hair either)
Yes i wear different earrings everyday of my life for absolutely no reason.(stop asking me why)
Yes I absolutely LOVE Bollywood Music. (You're not Indian if you don't :P)
Yes I hate it that Pune has no club that plays it.
Yes I can ride a bike.
Yes I hate it when people doubt that just because I'm a girl.
No I'm not big fan of the new Millenium.
Yes I wish i was this age in the 70s.
Yes I am retarded.
No I don't think it can be cured (courtesy: Adamya Dua)
No I do not understand Trance or Psy or whatever its all called.
No I'm NOT a Feminist. (Its an over rated expression)
Yes I am an Equalist.
Yes I now understand Politics.
No I don't think our Government Sucks. (trust me, it could be worse)
No I also don't think India is the largest Democracy in the true sense.
No India is not a Hindu Nation. It is a SECULAR F*&$%*# Nation.
Yes I am very passionate about Theater and Upstage.
Yes I do plan to continue Theater someday:) .
Yes the thought of food makes me Smile.
No I don't agree to the statement "God lives in each one of us"
Yes I've met enough Ungodly people in my life.
Yes I still have faith in Humanity.
Yes I have to stop and play with a Dog if i cross him/her.
No I cannot let it pass.
Yes I fear God.
No I don't think of him as a supreme being.
Yes I think of him as my best friend who will beat the shit out of me for doing something wrong.
Yes I find almost everyone pretty.
Yes I love travelling. (who doesn't)
Yes I wish i could study History for a little longer.
Yes I had a dream, of being an archaeologist.
No my passion for Russia or Egypt has not died.
Yes I can Dance all night.
No I don't know how to dance.
Yes I wish i could sing.
Yes I miss Bruno very much and cry for him all the time.
Yes I am very scared of Death.
No I don't try and put up a brave face.
Yes I am terrified of losing my friends.
No I don't hurt people intentionally.
Yes I have to go do something about it if someone I know is hurt or troubled.
No he/she does not have to be a friend.
Yes I think people who cannot respect others are Jerks.
Yes I think the teaching teaches me more than what it teaches my students.
Yes I miss my two best friends in Delhi very much.
No I don't think I'll ever forget them.
Yes I love football.
Yea I know what offside is. (Another guy in an attempt to be cool asks me that and trust me my foot will be in his freakin' ass)
No I cant play football to save my life.
Yes I am very clumsy and accident prone.
Yes I believe in Silluvious.
Yes he saves me everytime.
Yes I miss way too many people.
No I'm not ashamed of it.
Yes I LOVE my parents.
Yes I LOVE my sister.
Yes I LOVE my entire extended family and we are the best together.
Yes I like having a good time.
No I don't believe you when you say "I don't know what happened, I was too drunk"
Yes I think "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" is the most profound thought.
Yes I do begin many of my sentences with "dekho..."
Yes I call Ice cream "I Ceeem" and Kichad "Chikad" etc.
Yes I get very amused when people get embarrassed.
No I don't usually get embarrassed.
Yes I do get shy.
No I cannot take compliments.
Yes I know I usually don't give compliments either.
Yes I do judge people.
Yes I am usually wrong.
Yes I am brilliant with Directions.
No I cannot give directions on the phone.
Yes I love talking.
Yes I am an impatient listener.
Yes I'm always early.
No I don't like people being late.
No I don't make people uncomfortable around me.
Yes I am called "puffy" "puff" "dot"...
No I donot use a surname.
No It's NOT a big deal.
Yes I do end up liking almost ALL movies I see.
Yes I think India has way too many languages.
No I don't like the way Marathi sounds.
Yes it sounds abusive (no offence)
Yes I know what I'm doing.
Yes I know how to kick ass at Living.
No I don't always like being around people.
Yes I have hope.
Yes I love the Indian Army and I salute them every single day.
NO I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU if you don't show some respect during the national anthem.
Yes singing it makes me extremely proud.
Yes i tear up at times during it.
Yes I have loved.
No I don't regret it.
Yes I love McLeodganj and Goa.
No I donot like Baga. (I would go to a club if i wanted to see dolled up girlies)
Yes I laugh very loudly.
Yes I get very random at times.
Yes I could go on.
No I wont.
(:
No I don't really care what your uptight ass thinks of me.
No I do not comb my hair. (and i shall not let YOU comb my hair either)
Yes i wear different earrings everyday of my life for absolutely no reason.(stop asking me why)
Yes I absolutely LOVE Bollywood Music. (You're not Indian if you don't :P)
Yes I hate it that Pune has no club that plays it.
Yes I can ride a bike.
Yes I hate it when people doubt that just because I'm a girl.
No I'm not big fan of the new Millenium.
Yes I wish i was this age in the 70s.
Yes I am retarded.
No I don't think it can be cured (courtesy: Adamya Dua)
No I do not understand Trance or Psy or whatever its all called.
No I'm NOT a Feminist. (Its an over rated expression)
Yes I am an Equalist.
Yes I now understand Politics.
No I don't think our Government Sucks. (trust me, it could be worse)
No I also don't think India is the largest Democracy in the true sense.
No India is not a Hindu Nation. It is a SECULAR F*&$%*# Nation.
Yes I am very passionate about Theater and Upstage.
Yes I do plan to continue Theater someday:) .
Yes the thought of food makes me Smile.
No I don't agree to the statement "God lives in each one of us"
Yes I've met enough Ungodly people in my life.
Yes I still have faith in Humanity.
Yes I have to stop and play with a Dog if i cross him/her.
No I cannot let it pass.
Yes I fear God.
No I don't think of him as a supreme being.
Yes I think of him as my best friend who will beat the shit out of me for doing something wrong.
Yes I find almost everyone pretty.
Yes I love travelling. (who doesn't)
Yes I wish i could study History for a little longer.
Yes I had a dream, of being an archaeologist.
No my passion for Russia or Egypt has not died.
Yes I can Dance all night.
No I don't know how to dance.
Yes I wish i could sing.
Yes I miss Bruno very much and cry for him all the time.
Yes I am very scared of Death.
No I don't try and put up a brave face.
Yes I am terrified of losing my friends.
No I don't hurt people intentionally.
Yes I have to go do something about it if someone I know is hurt or troubled.
No he/she does not have to be a friend.
Yes I think people who cannot respect others are Jerks.
Yes I think the teaching teaches me more than what it teaches my students.
Yes I miss my two best friends in Delhi very much.
No I don't think I'll ever forget them.
Yes I love football.
Yea I know what offside is. (Another guy in an attempt to be cool asks me that and trust me my foot will be in his freakin' ass)
No I cant play football to save my life.
Yes I am very clumsy and accident prone.
Yes I believe in Silluvious.
Yes he saves me everytime.
Yes I miss way too many people.
No I'm not ashamed of it.
Yes I LOVE my parents.
Yes I LOVE my sister.
Yes I LOVE my entire extended family and we are the best together.
Yes I like having a good time.
No I don't believe you when you say "I don't know what happened, I was too drunk"
Yes I think "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" is the most profound thought.
Yes I do begin many of my sentences with "dekho..."
Yes I call Ice cream "I Ceeem" and Kichad "Chikad" etc.
Yes I get very amused when people get embarrassed.
No I don't usually get embarrassed.
Yes I do get shy.
No I cannot take compliments.
Yes I know I usually don't give compliments either.
Yes I do judge people.
Yes I am usually wrong.
Yes I am brilliant with Directions.
No I cannot give directions on the phone.
Yes I love talking.
Yes I am an impatient listener.
Yes I'm always early.
No I don't like people being late.
No I don't make people uncomfortable around me.
Yes I am called "puffy" "puff" "dot"...
No I donot use a surname.
No It's NOT a big deal.
Yes I do end up liking almost ALL movies I see.
Yes I think India has way too many languages.
No I don't like the way Marathi sounds.
Yes it sounds abusive (no offence)
Yes I know what I'm doing.
Yes I know how to kick ass at Living.
No I don't always like being around people.
Yes I have hope.
Yes I love the Indian Army and I salute them every single day.
NO I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU if you don't show some respect during the national anthem.
Yes singing it makes me extremely proud.
Yes i tear up at times during it.
Yes I have loved.
No I don't regret it.
Yes I love McLeodganj and Goa.
No I donot like Baga. (I would go to a club if i wanted to see dolled up girlies)
Yes I laugh very loudly.
Yes I get very random at times.
Yes I could go on.
No I wont.
(:
Monday, November 22, 2010
Love Me Do.
Lennon
McCartney
Harrison
Starr
Who ever thought that a decade of Music by these four would bring a spark in the eyes of MANY even 4 decades later.
It was an Era, the BeatleMania caught up and stuck around for years.
They were one of the few most defining artist of the FlowerPower Era. Together their music created a movement, a revolution of the calmer more sublime sort. Something everyone from the "Age" remembers and dearly misses.
The 70s weren't only about free sex and drugs (even though it made up a colossal part of it ) They were about Free expression, of thought, of music, of art.
So is it a wonder that so many Music legends were born. Who threw open the limitless possibilities for generations to follow.
They remain with us, Always.
Their music, those very words, the feeling. They created Memories and Moments, not just music. Moments which people like you and me can associate to even though we weren't even thought of then.
(:
McCartney
Harrison
Starr
Who ever thought that a decade of Music by these four would bring a spark in the eyes of MANY even 4 decades later.
It was an Era, the BeatleMania caught up and stuck around for years.
They were one of the few most defining artist of the FlowerPower Era. Together their music created a movement, a revolution of the calmer more sublime sort. Something everyone from the "Age" remembers and dearly misses.
The 70s weren't only about free sex and drugs (even though it made up a colossal part of it ) They were about Free expression, of thought, of music, of art.
So is it a wonder that so many Music legends were born. Who threw open the limitless possibilities for generations to follow.
They remain with us, Always.
Their music, those very words, the feeling. They created Memories and Moments, not just music. Moments which people like you and me can associate to even though we weren't even thought of then.
(:
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Change
Have you ever had that one single most defining moment in your life, from where you knew that you wouldn't be the person you were before.
That one moment where everything changed and even if "everything" didn't change, at least something did...something important and essential which made you look at life with a different perspective.
I had mine, few years ago. You might think i'v always been this absolutely retarded person. But trust me, its by choice :)
I mean i wasn't too sane ever but the extended streak of madness happened quite recently. That's the reason why i let things not bother me. I mean sure i have a heart, and it pains at times(quite a few times) but i try to let it all go. Just let it be. And kick start from the better part of life, the part which was simpler, happier and crazier.
We all have our moment. If you havent had yours, you will. It's usually not pleasant, but the consequences are. Its a way of your soul telling you "listen you dumb idiot, its time you realise what you're all about" :)
That one moment where everything changed and even if "everything" didn't change, at least something did...something important and essential which made you look at life with a different perspective.
I had mine, few years ago. You might think i'v always been this absolutely retarded person. But trust me, its by choice :)
I mean i wasn't too sane ever but the extended streak of madness happened quite recently. That's the reason why i let things not bother me. I mean sure i have a heart, and it pains at times(quite a few times) but i try to let it all go. Just let it be. And kick start from the better part of life, the part which was simpler, happier and crazier.
We all have our moment. If you havent had yours, you will. It's usually not pleasant, but the consequences are. Its a way of your soul telling you "listen you dumb idiot, its time you realise what you're all about" :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Mind It.
We've gone through the classes, done much more. An MBA should mean something rite? If nothing else then atleast it should be proof that i can read and write, know my grammar and form sentences. What happens when those very basics are questioned? When someone asks you why "monkey" is pronounced the way it is and not the same was as "donkey" or vice verse? and when all your education seems to crumble and you reply "thats just how it is!"
I think it all makes sense, no wonder the British are so crooked, they dont even speak what they write, forget writing what they mean. English language can complicate and there is no easy way of knowing it. The best way to teach it is to do so through Devanagari script. PHONETICS! Our way out.
A- ए, B-ब, C-क, D-ड..thats the way to go. Each english alphabet corresponding to a hindi one.
The Devanagari is the most logical script, you write what you speak...right down to the last maatra. Unlike English with its "silent" words and confusing varying spellings. So go ahead..learn English the Hindi way :)
I think it all makes sense, no wonder the British are so crooked, they dont even speak what they write, forget writing what they mean. English language can complicate and there is no easy way of knowing it. The best way to teach it is to do so through Devanagari script. PHONETICS! Our way out.
A- ए, B-ब, C-क, D-ड..thats the way to go. Each english alphabet corresponding to a hindi one.
The Devanagari is the most logical script, you write what you speak...right down to the last maatra. Unlike English with its "silent" words and confusing varying spellings. So go ahead..learn English the Hindi way :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Delhiites, Mumbaikars and Puneites
We all belong to a particular place, a place we love and protect with animalistic instincts. So when recently (it happens a lot) someone began the "Delhi sux" debate with me once again...i jumped open clawed at the soul, defending my love.my city.
There are always 2 kinds of people anywhere you go (you could categorise them in many more splits..i prefer 2) ,the ones like you and the ones not like you.
Its which ones you meet more often that determines your love/hate for the city.
We complain about the traffic, the city, the weather...when all we are actually complaining about are the people.
Delhi wouldn't be Delhi without its loud over dressed Delhiites. And no matter how much i hate them, i still would find the city incomplete without them. Or the kurta & jeans wearing DU students swarming CP and the cultural hot spots. Each one of them defines the Delhi we know today. From the LOUD Punjabi Baug and Rajouri Garden to the chic Greater Kailash, to the Non chalant North Campus. All of them make Delhi the city it is today. The Melting Pot of India. The capital city.
Same goes for the Mumbaikars and their mixed language which is quite a curry of Hindi Marathi Gujrati and i don't know what not. Remove the "always-in-a-hurry" mumbaikar from Mumbai and it pretty much loses its charm or the lack of it. Or the smell of fish and salt the minute you land in the city. Its these small things, the funny names (come on...Chinchpokli?!),the tormenting Locals and the surprisingly disciplined bus and taxi lines,that's one thing Mumbaikars do best..Stand in a queue...THIS is Mumbai for me. Not the Gateway of India or the Marine Drive.
Coming to Pune, well my definition of it is " Its a small city, aiming to be huge...pretty much caught in the middle. The same goes for the people. The whole IDEA to be "known" is so high in this city..its almost scary. Its as if from the time one reaches standard 9, there's this urge to be seen in the right places, with the right people doing the right thing (which mind you, isn't really right). The pressure might be because here EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE" Oh and not to forget...the constant need to ape everything "in" in Mumbai. Its the whole elder brother phenomenon.
Its a debate that might go on for centuries, and something most of us "outsiders" will face everyday. *sigh*
PS: I love you Delhi :P
There are always 2 kinds of people anywhere you go (you could categorise them in many more splits..i prefer 2) ,the ones like you and the ones not like you.
Its which ones you meet more often that determines your love/hate for the city.
We complain about the traffic, the city, the weather...when all we are actually complaining about are the people.
Delhi wouldn't be Delhi without its loud over dressed Delhiites. And no matter how much i hate them, i still would find the city incomplete without them. Or the kurta & jeans wearing DU students swarming CP and the cultural hot spots. Each one of them defines the Delhi we know today. From the LOUD Punjabi Baug and Rajouri Garden to the chic Greater Kailash, to the Non chalant North Campus. All of them make Delhi the city it is today. The Melting Pot of India. The capital city.
Same goes for the Mumbaikars and their mixed language which is quite a curry of Hindi Marathi Gujrati and i don't know what not. Remove the "always-in-a-hurry" mumbaikar from Mumbai and it pretty much loses its charm or the lack of it. Or the smell of fish and salt the minute you land in the city. Its these small things, the funny names (come on...Chinchpokli?!),the tormenting Locals and the surprisingly disciplined bus and taxi lines,that's one thing Mumbaikars do best..Stand in a queue...THIS is Mumbai for me. Not the Gateway of India or the Marine Drive.
Coming to Pune, well my definition of it is " Its a small city, aiming to be huge...pretty much caught in the middle. The same goes for the people. The whole IDEA to be "known" is so high in this city..its almost scary. Its as if from the time one reaches standard 9, there's this urge to be seen in the right places, with the right people doing the right thing (which mind you, isn't really right). The pressure might be because here EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE" Oh and not to forget...the constant need to ape everything "in" in Mumbai. Its the whole elder brother phenomenon.
Its a debate that might go on for centuries, and something most of us "outsiders" will face everyday. *sigh*
PS: I love you Delhi :P
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Never too late
Is it important to be someone you're not. To put up this face, this facade of being "cool" ?
I mean how many times have you stepped back and taken a look at what you've become. Don't judge me, i'm not too much of a preacher with enough wrongs in my kitty..but come on, isn't it time to just close your eyes and see yourself...see who you've become. 1 in 10 chances are that you'll stand up and smile and walk off content, but the 9 other times, there will be something...something small that'll bother you. Maybe not life changing devastating, but something. That'll make you think WHY. Why did it have to be the way it did. Those are the Why's we need to answer before they become etched in rocks we never knew existed.
10 maybe 15 years down the line, if i were to ask you..."so regret anything about your life"...please let the answer be NO and if you think it'll be otherwise, then now's your chance...to change it. To make sure that its NO.
I mean how many times have you stepped back and taken a look at what you've become. Don't judge me, i'm not too much of a preacher with enough wrongs in my kitty..but come on, isn't it time to just close your eyes and see yourself...see who you've become. 1 in 10 chances are that you'll stand up and smile and walk off content, but the 9 other times, there will be something...something small that'll bother you. Maybe not life changing devastating, but something. That'll make you think WHY. Why did it have to be the way it did. Those are the Why's we need to answer before they become etched in rocks we never knew existed.
10 maybe 15 years down the line, if i were to ask you..."so regret anything about your life"...please let the answer be NO and if you think it'll be otherwise, then now's your chance...to change it. To make sure that its NO.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Bigger Picture
I step out with the grumpiest look possible, the rain just makes everything so dirty. Jumping between puddles of water and eeeeeking every time something wet or muddy splashes me. Upset that my shoes and bag have mud spots on them. I crib incessantly and grumpily cross the road. Hail a million autos to finally get one. "Bahiya central jaana hai"....with more eeks and nags about the puddle filled pune roads, i reach my destination. Going through the floor picking up and putting down what seemed like a hundred clothes, i manage to get a few i find "not as bad as the rest". Still with my air of bitchiness i pay the bill...huddle out in the windy front and sign again at how God's just being unfair to me. I mean come on i had a horrible day with the rain and muck and the autos and the really bad clothes and.....when just across the road from where i stand,i see a bicycle...a single one..weighed down by a man in his late 40s, his wife, their two children and a packet of vegetables. Weighed down by their smiles. The kids giggling and laughing while the mother smiled at them while telling them to behave themselves. The father, well he was just satisfied...he had the look on his face, the kind you get when suddenly there's nothing you need anymore. when the whole world seems harmonious and you're content. Everything else became invisible to me, it was just that one bicycle with a family of four...happy.satisfied.not cribbing. and there was me...we'll i think I've already said enough about my pathetic self.
Its not what you got or what you want. Its what you need. And you need very little to feel happy.
I walked back in the drizzle, smiling at myself for absolutely no reason. Suddenly the world looked gorgeous and the water comforting...in some way camouflaging the tears trickling down. The only weight was of the shopping bag which i wish i could throw somewhere. Fast.
Its not what you got or what you want. Its what you need. And you need very little to feel happy.
I walked back in the drizzle, smiling at myself for absolutely no reason. Suddenly the world looked gorgeous and the water comforting...in some way camouflaging the tears trickling down. The only weight was of the shopping bag which i wish i could throw somewhere. Fast.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Could it be ME!
Lets take a step back to the time when,lets just day, i was simpler.
When the world was simpler, no one bothered if our hair were done right, or if the kilos suddenly showed. A simpler world, a simpler me.
Then disaster struck. MEN happened!
From the simpler emotion of hatred towards all BOYS, to the "crush" on few. Our whole world came crumbling down. Like a pile of crashing metal the various ideas and thoughts started weighing us down.
Amist the chaos i lost ME somewhere. To please the 'loved ones', i lost who i was. I stare back at the mirror and turn in disgust. I dont recongnise me. Whatever happened to the happy girl, the simpler girl.
When the world was simpler, no one bothered if our hair were done right, or if the kilos suddenly showed. A simpler world, a simpler me.
Then disaster struck. MEN happened!
From the simpler emotion of hatred towards all BOYS, to the "crush" on few. Our whole world came crumbling down. Like a pile of crashing metal the various ideas and thoughts started weighing us down.
Amist the chaos i lost ME somewhere. To please the 'loved ones', i lost who i was. I stare back at the mirror and turn in disgust. I dont recongnise me. Whatever happened to the happy girl, the simpler girl.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
the Kid:)
Two super excited girls wait outside the house for their mom to arrive with their little bundle of joy:) The gypsy pulls in, mom steps out..we look around...errrrr mom aren't you missing something?? No, here he is...she says so pointing towards a cardboard carton..we rip it open to see this HUGE fair coloured dog jump out with a red thin strap for a collar and leash. Super scared, as we had expected a tiny little pup, we jump back and glare at mom. She smiles and says...he's only three months old, labs grow fast:)
And that's how it all began, that's how we brought him home..in a carton in the train from Chandigarh. He was always smart considering how he got away from the sniffer dogs in shatabdi.
From thinking of crazy names for him to realising that he only responds to "Bruno" as mom had been calling him that the while in Chandigarh. She was his favourite, the only familiar smell for him. But then he came out..out of his shell and the MANY adventures of Bruno followed.
From breaking a million chains to run and chase the dogs and cows, to losing his sweater mysteriously. To jumping at dad for walks and barking at Didi for his afternoon jobs. Snapping at me seemed his favourite pass time, considering that mine was bugging him constantly.
Getting scared of a huge dog as a kid to getting hit in the eye by a cow. He never backed down, taking on a bunch of dogs alone seemed to be his favourite pass time. Getting back bruised and hurt just to be tended to by dad till late at night.
Listening to me talk for hours even though i had to hold him down many times.
Being a favourite amongst kids and being all fatherly around tipsy.
His love for cake and biscuits, to his NOT eating the food without non veg.
Him ALWAYS running to greet us and sulking when we left.
He made everyone fall in love with him. That was just him, a real charmer I'd say.
There are so many things to say and remember, words fall short.
Its the LOVE all of us will always feel for him.
He was my brother..the only real one i ever had:)
And that's how it all began, that's how we brought him home..in a carton in the train from Chandigarh. He was always smart considering how he got away from the sniffer dogs in shatabdi.
From thinking of crazy names for him to realising that he only responds to "Bruno" as mom had been calling him that the while in Chandigarh. She was his favourite, the only familiar smell for him. But then he came out..out of his shell and the MANY adventures of Bruno followed.
From breaking a million chains to run and chase the dogs and cows, to losing his sweater mysteriously. To jumping at dad for walks and barking at Didi for his afternoon jobs. Snapping at me seemed his favourite pass time, considering that mine was bugging him constantly.
Getting scared of a huge dog as a kid to getting hit in the eye by a cow. He never backed down, taking on a bunch of dogs alone seemed to be his favourite pass time. Getting back bruised and hurt just to be tended to by dad till late at night.
Listening to me talk for hours even though i had to hold him down many times.
Being a favourite amongst kids and being all fatherly around tipsy.
His love for cake and biscuits, to his NOT eating the food without non veg.
Him ALWAYS running to greet us and sulking when we left.
He made everyone fall in love with him. That was just him, a real charmer I'd say.
There are so many things to say and remember, words fall short.
Its the LOVE all of us will always feel for him.
He was my brother..the only real one i ever had:)
melodies!
Every song heard has a memory attached to it. Its like a movie which replays itself unwillingly at the sound of that familiar tune or those very words.
From the time i was a kid, memories were based out of music. Every song from saajan reminds me of the long winding roads through holta camp to kullu manali, the bickering with my sister, the trying to do the steps.
Those old punjabi numbers make me feel like im in switzerland again stuffing my mouth with chocolates.
The crazy songs from mohra and what not remind me of our gang in the unit, with each one mugging up the steps and performing for the grown ups.
Who can forget the backstreet boys phase, songs i still remember by heart.
Then there was "I'm ready", i think more than bryan adams..i fell deeper in love with my first love.
From dancing to hip hopper and desi girl to just singing "i'll even let you hold the remote control"...its these few lines and words that just stay with us forever. The sound of them drifts us back to where we were. Where all of it was real.
Every moment in life has a tune, a song attached to it.
The very chill, the very smile, the very warmth, the very joy we felt at the time we sang and danced. it all comes back.
Who said there are no time machines. I got my very own fixed to my ipod!
Happy Listening:)
From the time i was a kid, memories were based out of music. Every song from saajan reminds me of the long winding roads through holta camp to kullu manali, the bickering with my sister, the trying to do the steps.
Those old punjabi numbers make me feel like im in switzerland again stuffing my mouth with chocolates.
The crazy songs from mohra and what not remind me of our gang in the unit, with each one mugging up the steps and performing for the grown ups.
Who can forget the backstreet boys phase, songs i still remember by heart.
Then there was "I'm ready", i think more than bryan adams..i fell deeper in love with my first love.
From dancing to hip hopper and desi girl to just singing "i'll even let you hold the remote control"...its these few lines and words that just stay with us forever. The sound of them drifts us back to where we were. Where all of it was real.
Every moment in life has a tune, a song attached to it.
The very chill, the very smile, the very warmth, the very joy we felt at the time we sang and danced. it all comes back.
Who said there are no time machines. I got my very own fixed to my ipod!
Happy Listening:)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Fool's Garden didnt know what they were saying when they sang Lemontree. Isolations is definately good. Its this stupid lame ass feeling which makes one cheer and celebrate. The feeling that cutting yourself out will draw someone to you. the SYMPATHY. Its a confusing word if you ask me. Some love it, some love to hate it.
Snooze a million times to finally wake up at 6 in the evening to that awful gut feeling of another day wasted. But the thrill of just doing 'nothing' rules over all other "more" guilty feelings :p
Snooze a million times to finally wake up at 6 in the evening to that awful gut feeling of another day wasted. But the thrill of just doing 'nothing' rules over all other "more" guilty feelings :p
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Dilwalon ki Dilli!
Getting off at Nizammudin and getting lost while finding my way out to Comesum is not something new. Its happened before, it happens each time. Being brilliant with directions, this is one i can never remember. Running into my dad's arms and getting out of the crowded station while contantly blabbering in my high pitched voice, i finally reach Home. With mom's amazingly cooked food and just the belonging of being somewhere i belong, somewhere i fit in perfectly :)
Delhi is a place i have made my own. Its where i belong. With the loud dilliwalas and the dhinchak music. The constant abusing and screaming. The wannabe ladies from punjabi bagh to the uptight "chicks" of GK. Its the city thats so different (from me) yet so similar. Getting lost in the theaters around mandi house is a dream i want to grow up to.
Just a spoon of the blueberry cheese cake,a workshop with upstage, a beer at route04, a wednesday at urban pind, an afternoon across, a maggie at the now shut city cafe, a coffee at taj ccd, a walk down lodhi garden, something sweet at utopia, a moment in the IHC amphitheater, a walk around M block, a sub at GK2, a chocolate at 4 number, a stop at khan, a bhel puri at south ex, a play at LTG, a theater fest at North Campus, getting lost in CP, a drive through Chanakyapuri, a chuski at India Gate, a shopping trip at sarojini. Its just all these things and the need to have them again and again and again. Delhi: My Love :)
Delhi is a place i have made my own. Its where i belong. With the loud dilliwalas and the dhinchak music. The constant abusing and screaming. The wannabe ladies from punjabi bagh to the uptight "chicks" of GK. Its the city thats so different (from me) yet so similar. Getting lost in the theaters around mandi house is a dream i want to grow up to.
Just a spoon of the blueberry cheese cake,a workshop with upstage, a beer at route04, a wednesday at urban pind, an afternoon across, a maggie at the now shut city cafe, a coffee at taj ccd, a walk down lodhi garden, something sweet at utopia, a moment in the IHC amphitheater, a walk around M block, a sub at GK2, a chocolate at 4 number, a stop at khan, a bhel puri at south ex, a play at LTG, a theater fest at North Campus, getting lost in CP, a drive through Chanakyapuri, a chuski at India Gate, a shopping trip at sarojini. Its just all these things and the need to have them again and again and again. Delhi: My Love :)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Dwell.
Its not the religion, its not even God in some strange way. Its just the calm...not the kind before a storm, but the kind after it. Eerie in its own conspicuous way. Yet as pure as the soul. I associate purity to the soul, because after the redemption that's all that's left. A pure soul.
A short walk, a few rituals, and then an eternity of calm.
Its not something i would want to experience everyday, we shouldn't get used to the good things. Its sort of a prize. Let it glisten in the distance and when you're worthy of it...reach out. It'll be there...waiting.
A short walk, a few rituals, and then an eternity of calm.
Its not something i would want to experience everyday, we shouldn't get used to the good things. Its sort of a prize. Let it glisten in the distance and when you're worthy of it...reach out. It'll be there...waiting.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Silluvious
If you know me, you might have heard of him. He's ME...I'm ..HIM. Its this complex love which started with a simple white Zenia being given on a sultry afternoon across.
It grew into many things, from being the guarding, to the start, the love, to the seeker, the helper, the comforter. He's been it all.
The feeling of knowing that he is there, in any form...even if its just gazing up to see it shine. Pulling me through days of distress and being alone, SilluVious...My Soul.
To correct me when im wrong, to counter my moves, to not hold me when i fall..just so i learn! Its the constant voice inside my head that i love. This is to you SilluVious...i know you'll always be around (:
It grew into many things, from being the guarding, to the start, the love, to the seeker, the helper, the comforter. He's been it all.
The feeling of knowing that he is there, in any form...even if its just gazing up to see it shine. Pulling me through days of distress and being alone, SilluVious...My Soul.
To correct me when im wrong, to counter my moves, to not hold me when i fall..just so i learn! Its the constant voice inside my head that i love. This is to you SilluVious...i know you'll always be around (:
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Just another morning.
"i got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good good night...."...Snooze. And Snooze. And snooze again.At least eight times to finally wake up with the crankiest look ever and with the certainty that tonight is NOT gonna be a good night. Damn the song. Its 10am, I'm probably late for class again...lets check. Grrrr...the net's not working!..sigh. *ponder* *ponder*...head tends to work at snail's pace for an hour after my "gumorning". After few messages and calls I'm told i still have time for class. So now what?!..I do have a lot of work lined up. But. Errrr...Lets see whats up with facebook:D...Oh and some kick ass chuck Norris jokes...maybe they'll wake me up (and they do)..An hour later, with no work done, i decide to go take a bath. Oops!!..how could i forget...its SIMS, there's no water!!! Ironic, since it is pouring outside..for a WEEK! If only the world wasn't conspiring against me...maybe..just maybe...i would get to class someday! But untill then...does anyone have a new movie i can watch???
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Ugly Crow
"oh do you know this said this to that and then that said this...do you know anything about it??" That's how probably all the conversations start. An inquisitive crow brooding with you to know more and discover more, just to back stab you later. Beware. In all the conspiracies of life, there are few people who just add to it. Add to it like the world's ending. Weren't you 'supposedly' a friend? ah i guess no. It isn't the first time any one's been betrayed but it still somehow tends to hurt each time and i stare in disbelief.
Don't lose hope in humanity, just lose it in those who pretend to be more humanitarian than the rest. Those who dwell in the belief that they are saints, who try and show to the world that they are trying to save humanity but displaying pictures of things they think will make a difference. You're not that person, you need to discover yourself. Sooner the better. For you and for the rest of us.
Picture this "a wall full of non profit organisations you've never worked for. A pendant to show that that you're spiritual. A cosmic smile to show the "peace" you're at. A friendly "are you ok"...these are things to watch out for. Maybe I'm just spiteful, but i have the right to be, after all the chaos you're caused in my life even before i thought you had. For the NON friend or just NON human than you've been. I'm allowed my share of vindictive thoughts. To slay you down and to take my revenge. But its just momentary, i know ill get over it. I always do..i hate that about myself..i never end up taking an action. I want to this time. I want to so bad. Ill let you knwo if i do. Keeping the flame alive. :/
Don't lose hope in humanity, just lose it in those who pretend to be more humanitarian than the rest. Those who dwell in the belief that they are saints, who try and show to the world that they are trying to save humanity but displaying pictures of things they think will make a difference. You're not that person, you need to discover yourself. Sooner the better. For you and for the rest of us.
Picture this "a wall full of non profit organisations you've never worked for. A pendant to show that that you're spiritual. A cosmic smile to show the "peace" you're at. A friendly "are you ok"...these are things to watch out for. Maybe I'm just spiteful, but i have the right to be, after all the chaos you're caused in my life even before i thought you had. For the NON friend or just NON human than you've been. I'm allowed my share of vindictive thoughts. To slay you down and to take my revenge. But its just momentary, i know ill get over it. I always do..i hate that about myself..i never end up taking an action. I want to this time. I want to so bad. Ill let you knwo if i do. Keeping the flame alive. :/
Friday, July 23, 2010
Beat It!
Dish.Dish.Di.Da.Dish.Dish...Boom!...click click click. I suck!
Whoever thought learning something would be this tough. First of all, i tend to lack any sense of rhythm, i seem to have also lost my feet-head-hand-head (or something like that) coordination. Now its just me with my crazy bunch of lunatic limbs moving involuntarily to strike anything in sight. There's a beat and then there are sets and then oh wait..."just play whatever sound right to you"..."anything repeated more than twice, can be a beat"...aaa...eeerrr..excuse me..haven't you noticed...i don't get "beat"!
With a lot of huff-ing and puff-ing, i retire. Put my hat to rest, maybe i just wasn't meant to be good at it...quite like all other instruments that involve rhythmic sensibilities. The guitar failed, the piano committed suicide and the mike..well..lets just say he doesn't like being involved with me. So maybe its adieu to the drums. But maybe not. We'll just hold that thought.
Whoever thought learning something would be this tough. First of all, i tend to lack any sense of rhythm, i seem to have also lost my feet-head-hand-head (or something like that) coordination. Now its just me with my crazy bunch of lunatic limbs moving involuntarily to strike anything in sight. There's a beat and then there are sets and then oh wait..."just play whatever sound right to you"..."anything repeated more than twice, can be a beat"...aaa...eeerrr..excuse me..haven't you noticed...i don't get "beat"!
With a lot of huff-ing and puff-ing, i retire. Put my hat to rest, maybe i just wasn't meant to be good at it...quite like all other instruments that involve rhythmic sensibilities. The guitar failed, the piano committed suicide and the mike..well..lets just say he doesn't like being involved with me. So maybe its adieu to the drums. But maybe not. We'll just hold that thought.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Trio
544..that's where i first met you. While we waited for the tormentor to arrive, we spoke and ummm clicked(?)...then along came our first moment of nervous stage fright with each of us screaming "mera naam ________ hai". Minky came along somewhere here, we weren't much fond of each other were we now;) But in the middle of all the confusion and the madness called "upstage", we found each other and ourselves. The "Trio" was thus born.
With all the ups and the many more downs. The constant getting bugged and ticked off and just being off, i struggled through first year trying to understand the various mood swings and eventually developing my own.
Alwar. "oh so I'm going away for the weekend with my parents to alwar..wanna come??"....that's how it all began, i still don't get it how the trip materialised and how my parents tolerated the three of us.
Shimla. The trip that changed a lot, for the good I'd say. We would have never known each other the way we do now if it hadn't been for the fights and the discussions. The mad singing outside the compartment assuming no one could hear us, being told we were more entertaining than any television channel by a freaky man, ogling at Mr Phoelix and The-man-whose-name-i-can-never-remember through out our loooooong but extremely enjoyable (come on, it was fun) train ride.
Upstage. The one single thing which connected us at all times, our "only" life. All the performances, many embarrassing, many exhilarating, many stupid and many were just average. Dreading the "meeting" after each performance....hunting down cute men to letch. From Tarun to Ilu...it's been a long journey.
Men. Through Blue to Robinson to Weird men obsessed with Chinky. WE made it through. From making fun of them to telling each other how weird they are, to just consoling when things got really messed up.
Second Year. The year of the dreaded juniors. The year of Secret Rapture and Armaan. The year of Disaster for Upstage. The year of many confusions. The year of changing men. The year of Birthdays. The elaborate ideas and the constant planning:)
Final Year. I can only say ...THE YEAR OF THE MOST AMAZING JUNIORS. They taught us much more than what we did. We bonded over our one common love..theater. Moments of distancing. Feeling of jealousy caused by new found friends. The fantastic year of being roomies with one. and constantly wishing the other was there too. The year of going away. The year of McLeodganj with everyone. Exploring the darker side and becoming closer than ever.
With all my visits to Across, i remember the craziness and madness, the anger, the frustration, the love, the not talking. Here's to the TRIO! I love you two (:
PS: I dont think anyone will ever get me the way you do! eeeee!!
With all the ups and the many more downs. The constant getting bugged and ticked off and just being off, i struggled through first year trying to understand the various mood swings and eventually developing my own.
Alwar. "oh so I'm going away for the weekend with my parents to alwar..wanna come??"....that's how it all began, i still don't get it how the trip materialised and how my parents tolerated the three of us.
Shimla. The trip that changed a lot, for the good I'd say. We would have never known each other the way we do now if it hadn't been for the fights and the discussions. The mad singing outside the compartment assuming no one could hear us, being told we were more entertaining than any television channel by a freaky man, ogling at Mr Phoelix and The-man-whose-name-i-can-never-remember through out our loooooong but extremely enjoyable (come on, it was fun) train ride.
Upstage. The one single thing which connected us at all times, our "only" life. All the performances, many embarrassing, many exhilarating, many stupid and many were just average. Dreading the "meeting" after each performance....hunting down cute men to letch. From Tarun to Ilu...it's been a long journey.
Men. Through Blue to Robinson to Weird men obsessed with Chinky. WE made it through. From making fun of them to telling each other how weird they are, to just consoling when things got really messed up.
Second Year. The year of the dreaded juniors. The year of Secret Rapture and Armaan. The year of Disaster for Upstage. The year of many confusions. The year of changing men. The year of Birthdays. The elaborate ideas and the constant planning:)
Final Year. I can only say ...THE YEAR OF THE MOST AMAZING JUNIORS. They taught us much more than what we did. We bonded over our one common love..theater. Moments of distancing. Feeling of jealousy caused by new found friends. The fantastic year of being roomies with one. and constantly wishing the other was there too. The year of going away. The year of McLeodganj with everyone. Exploring the darker side and becoming closer than ever.
With all my visits to Across, i remember the craziness and madness, the anger, the frustration, the love, the not talking. Here's to the TRIO! I love you two (:
PS: I dont think anyone will ever get me the way you do! eeeee!!
When you think its done.
You walk. pause. breathe. walk again.
With all the complexities of the world left behind, you continue to breath and feel again. The sun, the breeze. There's nothing like a walk in the rain. Solitude they say spells mishap..not for me. I love a walk alone. Though many around would find it unlikely, But there's something about it. Just to be able to walk miles without a reason. No one to make small meaningless talk with. Sometimes not being crazy and hyper is required, in my case its essential. Under the layers of chatter and oodles of energy, there's a me just waiting to be left alone. Someone mentioned how I'm scary ...and i am. When i feel cramped by the "many's" of the world...i retaliate, in my own complex way. women might be from Venus, but I'm definitely from Jupiter. Its been my favourite planet since i was young, there's something about the rings around it...its a layer to keep it away from the unwanted. Something i would love to have. Maybe i already do...self discovery..shall we:)
Considering how my thoughts jump, i pity those around me. Its weird enough to have to listen to my absurd-ities but to also jump from this to that. I love you for tolerating the madness. Lets keep it alive! (:
With all the complexities of the world left behind, you continue to breath and feel again. The sun, the breeze. There's nothing like a walk in the rain. Solitude they say spells mishap..not for me. I love a walk alone. Though many around would find it unlikely, But there's something about it. Just to be able to walk miles without a reason. No one to make small meaningless talk with. Sometimes not being crazy and hyper is required, in my case its essential. Under the layers of chatter and oodles of energy, there's a me just waiting to be left alone. Someone mentioned how I'm scary ...and i am. When i feel cramped by the "many's" of the world...i retaliate, in my own complex way. women might be from Venus, but I'm definitely from Jupiter. Its been my favourite planet since i was young, there's something about the rings around it...its a layer to keep it away from the unwanted. Something i would love to have. Maybe i already do...self discovery..shall we:)
Considering how my thoughts jump, i pity those around me. Its weird enough to have to listen to my absurd-ities but to also jump from this to that. I love you for tolerating the madness. Lets keep it alive! (:
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Confusion!
To do or not to do!
I want to. I don't want to. I can. I cant.
The "many" dilemmas in life. Its true its a roller coaster, sometimes is fun, sometimes scary...but no one every said SAD. or DEPRESSING. A "sigh" is what helps us 'move on'.
I would do this for me...but i would have to give up a part of me...many parts of me. significant parts of me. Decisions and troubles go hand in hand. One wrong move and tic tok bang thank you ma'am!!
Its like a really bad himesh reshamiya movie or a sonu nigam concert. Stuck.
I want to. I don't want to. I can. I cant.
The "many" dilemmas in life. Its true its a roller coaster, sometimes is fun, sometimes scary...but no one every said SAD. or DEPRESSING. A "sigh" is what helps us 'move on'.
I would do this for me...but i would have to give up a part of me...many parts of me. significant parts of me. Decisions and troubles go hand in hand. One wrong move and tic tok bang thank you ma'am!!
Its like a really bad himesh reshamiya movie or a sonu nigam concert. Stuck.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
To those who love.
You cry, whine, scream, shout, pee, puke, fight...They just..hold, comfort, love and love some more.
I hate children. I wonder each day how..just how could my parent love "me"!! Im annoying and rebellious. I was the most intolerable kid alive. The crankiest teenager and probably the most detached adult. But under ALL the lectures and scoldings...there was lOve. The kind of love which never goes away. You could kill a man and your parents would still love you...its not exaggeration..its reality.
Being far and realising that I might NEVER again live with them makes me feel miserable for being so "horrible/mean/busy/cranky". I wish it was 3 years ago..Id do it all over again. Much differently!
I Love you Mom and Dad.
It really sucks to be away!
I hate children. I wonder each day how..just how could my parent love "me"!! Im annoying and rebellious. I was the most intolerable kid alive. The crankiest teenager and probably the most detached adult. But under ALL the lectures and scoldings...there was lOve. The kind of love which never goes away. You could kill a man and your parents would still love you...its not exaggeration..its reality.
Being far and realising that I might NEVER again live with them makes me feel miserable for being so "horrible/mean/busy/cranky". I wish it was 3 years ago..Id do it all over again. Much differently!
I Love you Mom and Dad.
It really sucks to be away!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Titty, Dick and Brains!
Once upon a time in a land not so far lived three 'soldiers'..Titty, Dick and Brains!
Each one with their own charm and their own tactics, beating the days with their will and gumption. Oh its just 2 months..we'll get through it. Standing by each other they promised to make it through and to make the "land" their own.
Titty rode the mighty horses, which zipped through the land unknown....engaging new enemies each day to get to the battlefield before the rest. Dick and Brains stormed through masses like swords of steal, maintained their calm to not let those around realise the fire burning in them. They pushed and shoved their way in and out of moving death to reach the battlefield of the unaware.
United by goblets of hot fluids and sweet surprise in a chamber they believed was theirs, strategising their next move "so what are we doing today?" At peace with themselves, they headed to their caves singing softly the belief to stay "forever young" and to meet again.
Each one had an enemy they had to battle. Titty suffered in the hands of the evil Casanova...who vowed to make Titty salve for him till the last hour. Dick had Lord Fluster to shake her and agonise her with constant opposing statements, she felt lost and frustrated. Brains fought silently each day with Lady Devil, who refused to assist her in her agonising hunt for unknown secrets in the land of the vast seas.
Their stomachs growled, hunger to be satisfied with the most menial of breads...made by the untamed beasts. Little joys like the red chariot for Dick or the Prince Charming of England for Brains kept their hopes alive while they fought the battle of their lives.
A little tavern around the corner, helped them forget their worries for a while, the super heroes and the handsome peasants there helped Titty,Dick and Brains forget the war they were fighting. But it would get over and the gruesomeness of the kingdom would return...stronger and meaner.
But they made it through. Their will and the red buttoned treats in their special place helped them get through.
And as long as they lived, their stories were told and retold in the land "not" so far away.
Each one with their own charm and their own tactics, beating the days with their will and gumption. Oh its just 2 months..we'll get through it. Standing by each other they promised to make it through and to make the "land" their own.
Titty rode the mighty horses, which zipped through the land unknown....engaging new enemies each day to get to the battlefield before the rest. Dick and Brains stormed through masses like swords of steal, maintained their calm to not let those around realise the fire burning in them. They pushed and shoved their way in and out of moving death to reach the battlefield of the unaware.
United by goblets of hot fluids and sweet surprise in a chamber they believed was theirs, strategising their next move "so what are we doing today?" At peace with themselves, they headed to their caves singing softly the belief to stay "forever young" and to meet again.
Each one had an enemy they had to battle. Titty suffered in the hands of the evil Casanova...who vowed to make Titty salve for him till the last hour. Dick had Lord Fluster to shake her and agonise her with constant opposing statements, she felt lost and frustrated. Brains fought silently each day with Lady Devil, who refused to assist her in her agonising hunt for unknown secrets in the land of the vast seas.
Their stomachs growled, hunger to be satisfied with the most menial of breads...made by the untamed beasts. Little joys like the red chariot for Dick or the Prince Charming of England for Brains kept their hopes alive while they fought the battle of their lives.
A little tavern around the corner, helped them forget their worries for a while, the super heroes and the handsome peasants there helped Titty,Dick and Brains forget the war they were fighting. But it would get over and the gruesomeness of the kingdom would return...stronger and meaner.
But they made it through. Their will and the red buttoned treats in their special place helped them get through.
And as long as they lived, their stories were told and retold in the land "not" so far away.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Ugly Fish
Some are mellow, some are fine...some are just abrupt.
the worst are the ugly kind! NO..I'm not being shallow!..."ugly" in the most non objective way.
So you turn around and "it" is missing...gone away because "it" didn't fit "it".
So "it" turns around and you are missing...you went away.
So you both grew and matured and the "it" didn't fit in.
"it" is all fine..
But if you turned around and "it" was still there to do "it" and the "it's" messed up.......eeerrr...UGLY!!
The wonders of the word IT...it helps me escape from the handicap. Its many meanings and words rolled in one:)
the worst are the ugly kind! NO..I'm not being shallow!..."ugly" in the most non objective way.
So you turn around and "it" is missing...gone away because "it" didn't fit "it".
So "it" turns around and you are missing...you went away.
So you both grew and matured and the "it" didn't fit in.
"it" is all fine..
But if you turned around and "it" was still there to do "it" and the "it's" messed up.......eeerrr...UGLY!!
The wonders of the word IT...it helps me escape from the handicap. Its many meanings and words rolled in one:)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Counting Pebbles
All that you give and all that you deal and all that you buy -Floyd
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.....In all shapes and sizes. Placed close to each other to form a structure. The kind of structure with holds, stays and survives. Until ofcourse the "human" force hits it. Humans...probably..no..DEFINATELY the worst living beings on the 3rd Rock. Not only are we vicious and conceit...we'r also loving and caring and just wonderfully terrible. Imagine if there was no love..there would be no hate..no loss..no gain...no fear..no shame. Just Life! Emotionless Fantastic Life!
Maybe iv become a little too cynical about it all..dont blame me. I hope my writing improves...and this trashy trash can then be deleted:D
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.....In all shapes and sizes. Placed close to each other to form a structure. The kind of structure with holds, stays and survives. Until ofcourse the "human" force hits it. Humans...probably..no..DEFINATELY the worst living beings on the 3rd Rock. Not only are we vicious and conceit...we'r also loving and caring and just wonderfully terrible. Imagine if there was no love..there would be no hate..no loss..no gain...no fear..no shame. Just Life! Emotionless Fantastic Life!
Maybe iv become a little too cynical about it all..dont blame me. I hope my writing improves...and this trashy trash can then be deleted:D
Monday, July 5, 2010
Maximum City
The "maya nagri" of India. Where anyone can make something of themselves. The city that never sleeps...and much more has been said and 'over' said about it. To me...it was a place i found myself. Again.
How many times have we stumbled and fallen on our face, bruised our ego, crushed our soul and moved on? Just brushed our knees and cleared our eyes.
Its the Bad, the Worse, the Ugly...there's probably NO good in the city but its brings out the best in us. Maybe that's why the affection.
April 19Th...a day before My Favourite day. It ALL began..the whirlwind, the turmoil..inside me and outside. The chaos, the uncertainty, the struggle, the confusion, the unknowing-ness, the newness, the joy, the grief, the heat...and the sweat!! *eek*
From struggling to get onto the Local to the Joy of getting off it...the many moods in an hour. The freezing temperatures inside and the sweltering heat outside...met in the middle at the pantry..."bhaiya do toast aur ek black tea"...hunt for JimJams and then the Mc Vities!
The wait to get done...walk to our "local" watering hole...Thanking God was never so much fun:p
The internal turmoil kept creeping up...built itself into a devil..a monster to eat me up..Shit said me..No said the city. Hold yourself...I wont wait for you. There's a world to be discovered, to be touched, to be felt, to be understood. And just like a phoenix it all burned out...and a new me was born. Self Discovery was never so much fun.
Maximum City Indeed. (:
How many times have we stumbled and fallen on our face, bruised our ego, crushed our soul and moved on? Just brushed our knees and cleared our eyes.
Its the Bad, the Worse, the Ugly...there's probably NO good in the city but its brings out the best in us. Maybe that's why the affection.
April 19Th...a day before My Favourite day. It ALL began..the whirlwind, the turmoil..inside me and outside. The chaos, the uncertainty, the struggle, the confusion, the unknowing-ness, the newness, the joy, the grief, the heat...and the sweat!! *eek*
From struggling to get onto the Local to the Joy of getting off it...the many moods in an hour. The freezing temperatures inside and the sweltering heat outside...met in the middle at the pantry..."bhaiya do toast aur ek black tea"...hunt for JimJams and then the Mc Vities!
The wait to get done...walk to our "local" watering hole...Thanking God was never so much fun:p
The internal turmoil kept creeping up...built itself into a devil..a monster to eat me up..Shit said me..No said the city. Hold yourself...I wont wait for you. There's a world to be discovered, to be touched, to be felt, to be understood. And just like a phoenix it all burned out...and a new me was born. Self Discovery was never so much fun.
Maximum City Indeed. (:
EnchanteD!
A fascinating state with an even fascinating polity. Russia. The land of the Tsar and other confusing names!
From Ivan "the terrible" to Vladimir Putin...Its gone through a sea change without actually going through one. The wars were fought, kindom lost and gained. The beautiful capital of St Petersburg on the Baltic stood testimony to the rage of the Seven Years War and the many others that followed.
Russia, the birthplace of "revolution", they went on in all months...Feburary. October.Communists all through Lenin, Stalin and Trostsky leading to joining THE League to counter the Nazis.
The World War II became the Great Patriotic War and the Red Army swarmed all across Eastern Europe...and thus began the long era of the Cold War. "Cold" tends to seem synonymus to Russia. The weather, the Architecture, the Political Environment. A country so utterly mysterious surrounded by an aura of the dead. or maybe thats jsut mE. Its Love..of a different kind. The Sputnik and the Vostoks' went where no one else had. They gave us a lot more than we thought.
Dream to be there... To breathe the Air once exhaled by the Peters' and the Catherines'.
Till then...keep the charm and rejoice for you gave us THE Vodka.
From Ivan "the terrible" to Vladimir Putin...Its gone through a sea change without actually going through one. The wars were fought, kindom lost and gained. The beautiful capital of St Petersburg on the Baltic stood testimony to the rage of the Seven Years War and the many others that followed.
Russia, the birthplace of "revolution", they went on in all months...Feburary. October.Communists all through Lenin, Stalin and Trostsky leading to joining THE League to counter the Nazis.
The World War II became the Great Patriotic War and the Red Army swarmed all across Eastern Europe...and thus began the long era of the Cold War. "Cold" tends to seem synonymus to Russia. The weather, the Architecture, the Political Environment. A country so utterly mysterious surrounded by an aura of the dead. or maybe thats jsut mE. Its Love..of a different kind. The Sputnik and the Vostoks' went where no one else had. They gave us a lot more than we thought.
Dream to be there... To breathe the Air once exhaled by the Peters' and the Catherines'.
Till then...keep the charm and rejoice for you gave us THE Vodka.
Stories Of A Dead Butterfly.
She transformed into a something she didn’t know she would. But in her heart she dreamt of being a “fly”. Minus all the glitter and shine. Minus all the love and care. Just to be loathed and shooed away...she dreamt of it. Every day. Every moment. Her fragile heart, broken not once, not twice, but a million times...just waiting to get stronger but becoming weaker. Just for once....let her be...don’t try and catch her to make yourself happy. Just let her be. Shoo her away like you loathe her presence. Try and snap her down. She’ll be happier to die as the “hated”, than to die as the “loved”...Because DEATH she’s seen is inevitable...mere mortals they sniggered...she just laughed silently..mere mortals!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Advertising Blues!
Every time i see a brilliant advertisement and my hopes rise, they are soon shot down by a manikchand or a baadsha masala!
Whatever happened to "new age" advertising and all the hullabaloo. Or did it just seize before if could touch the underdogs!
So picture this...we'r having our lunch and the television is blaring on about Dhoni and some girl's wedding with theatrics to match the wedding photographers coupled with a lot of cheesy shots and transitions and gory "oh-i-love-you" songs. Finally i sigh with relief coz it ends and the new Indigo advertisement pops up *in love*.... eeerrr...eeee...only to be interrupted by baadsha masaala...*sings* and the weird looking kids with oodles of make up dabbed on their messed up faces! (I'm not too fond of children and they dont even look like children) Why? why would anyone..just about anyone spend so much money and buy air time to show us THAT!!
If you'r ever feeling too "good" and optimistic about Indian Advertising and are high on Lowe Lintas, JWT or O&M...just switch to any..and i mean ANY Hindi News channel and be amused (?)
Whatever happened to "new age" advertising and all the hullabaloo. Or did it just seize before if could touch the underdogs!
So picture this...we'r having our lunch and the television is blaring on about Dhoni and some girl's wedding with theatrics to match the wedding photographers coupled with a lot of cheesy shots and transitions and gory "oh-i-love-you" songs. Finally i sigh with relief coz it ends and the new Indigo advertisement pops up *in love*.... eeerrr...eeee...only to be interrupted by baadsha masaala...*sings* and the weird looking kids with oodles of make up dabbed on their messed up faces! (I'm not too fond of children and they dont even look like children) Why? why would anyone..just about anyone spend so much money and buy air time to show us THAT!!
If you'r ever feeling too "good" and optimistic about Indian Advertising and are high on Lowe Lintas, JWT or O&M...just switch to any..and i mean ANY Hindi News channel and be amused (?)
Upstage Sundays
Day: Sunday
Date: Sometime 2 years ago
Time: 10:30 am
Waking up to the clock on my phone and a message from Ilu asking if i was up, coz she was.
Meeting at 11..Across. Would i make it?? I dont think so. Would she make it??..Aaaa No. Would the others make it??...Definately NO!!
I would think i was over my First year habit of reaching before time and then making everyone elses life miserable..but i guess not. Getting ready in a frenzy and hailing a million autos to finally get one to Destination Across :D
Thrilled at my achievement of being "on my way" at 10:50, I message Ilu to check her status quo...only to be informed that it stands unchanged. She's up...!..and thats about it. I begin to grumble...and try all the other numbers. And Voila...everyone's UP...but thats about it. Its 11am.
After beating the traffic and the heat i finally reach...only to be greeted (eerrr... or not!) by Mr Old Fart Man and his lovely assistant "ill-clean-wherever-you-sit".
Slowly they all tumble in...
My anger's gone...
Lets move in and practice shall we...
Its 2:00 pm
Ill never learn ;)
Date: Sometime 2 years ago
Time: 10:30 am
Waking up to the clock on my phone and a message from Ilu asking if i was up, coz she was.
Meeting at 11..Across. Would i make it?? I dont think so. Would she make it??..Aaaa No. Would the others make it??...Definately NO!!
I would think i was over my First year habit of reaching before time and then making everyone elses life miserable..but i guess not. Getting ready in a frenzy and hailing a million autos to finally get one to Destination Across :D
Thrilled at my achievement of being "on my way" at 10:50, I message Ilu to check her status quo...only to be informed that it stands unchanged. She's up...!..and thats about it. I begin to grumble...and try all the other numbers. And Voila...everyone's UP...but thats about it. Its 11am.
After beating the traffic and the heat i finally reach...only to be greeted (eerrr... or not!) by Mr Old Fart Man and his lovely assistant "ill-clean-wherever-you-sit".
Slowly they all tumble in...
My anger's gone...
Lets move in and practice shall we...
Its 2:00 pm
Ill never learn ;)
Im back!
Scribble.Scratch.Draw.Fiddle.Think (or maybe not).Jump!!!!
....and this time im Public :D
After my very long hiatus it seems rather awkward getting back to it. Thats one feeling i get alot.."awkward"...errrrr...
....and this time im Public :D
After my very long hiatus it seems rather awkward getting back to it. Thats one feeling i get alot.."awkward"...errrrr...
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